Superbowl Recap

Highest Scoring Team ($15)
Breaking Veg
Coach Zach
141.03 pts

Highest Scoring Player ($7)
Last Ride
Coach Curtis
Derrick Henry - 50.6 pts

IFL Superbowl Weekend has come and gone. Like we did last week, let’s break it down day by day.

Christmas Day, your Commish’ and the reigning 2024 IFL Champ Jord kicked things off, and Jord’s Javonte Williams started off hot with 54 yards and a touchdown mid-way through the second quarter, while the Commish’s CeeDee Lamb was largely MIA. A pit began to form in my stomach, as it looked like an early Cowboys rout of the Commanders and that meant a monster Javonte game as the Cowboys would just pound the ball with him. But Ol’ Saint Nick had his first Christmas miracle to perform, and Javonte would exit the game with an injury in the second quarter. While CeeDee only finished with 9 points, Javonte’s 13 points were a blessing to Breaking Veg. Kris Kringle’s second miracle that fated day would come in the Broncos game, where not only would Jord’s Troy Franklin be an afterthought for Bo Nix against the Chiefs, RJ Harvey would score the final touchdown of the game to clinch it for the Broncos, a dagger, and give the Commish’ a ten point advantage headed into Saturday.

Saturday Ka’imi kicked just 10 points for Jord, which I chalked up as a win, since he’s been good for 16 and 18 the week before. But to be honest, I wasn’t thinking about fantasy football Saturday. I was thinking about pie. That’s right - the 3rd Annual Big Brett Christmas Pie Contest was Saturday, and as Ellen and I are two-time runner ups, we had our sights set a bit higher this year, and well, we delivered!

Our cookie butter pie, bottom middle in the picture, was legendary and came away with the trophy, despite stiff competition from this year’s runner up - a ruffle milk raspberry. While the victory distracted me from the IFL Superbowl for a moment, a troubling thought entered my mind that night… I surely couldn’t win both the Big Brett Christmas Pie Contest and the IFL Superbowl, right? Had I sealed my fate?

Noon Sunday I was locked in, as 5 of my remaining 6 players kicked off along 2 of Jord’s. Since my final player, the Giants DEF played late afternoon Sunday, and Jord had Caleb Williams in SNF and the Rams DEF and Puka Nakua in MNF, I knew if I had any hope, I’d have to build a substantial lead, and outside of Drake Maye, it wasn’t looking good through the first half. And since Jord hedged against Drake Maye with Hunter Henry, his 33 points didn’t feel as good as it should. Nor did the fact that he got benched in the third quarter. Mike Evans, Trey McBride, and Travis Etienne had a combined ~9 points at halftime. The only thing that helped was that Jord’s Tetairoa McMillan had missing posters hanging up all over Charlotte, NC, and he was catchless at half. But, as has often been the case, my team of second half warriors started to come alive. Trey McBride, garbage time GOAT, his team down three touchdowns, talked his coach into breaking the all-time TE reception record for a single season, and not only would he break it and end the game with 10 receptions, he’d catch a late garbage time touchdown to finish with 25 points. Etienne got enough production to end with 13 and Mike Evans would grab his own tuddy at the final hour of the Dolphins game to pick up a duzzy. All this while Tet would secure just a single grab in the Seahawks game, finishing with 1.25 points. And so, despite the slow start, Breaking Veg was up 72 points. Could that be enough? Against Puka? No, that was not enough. But I had one last card to play - the Giants DEF. While they are only the 24th best DEF on the season fantasy-wise, they played the Raiders this week, and if I could get 10, maybe 15 points out of them, then maybe it’d be enough. A kick return for a touchdown; however, I didn’t count on, and they would finish as the top defense of the week, with 25 points. Alas, with all my ammo spent, I was up 96 points. Okay, that was definitely enough… wasn’t it? I went back and look at Jord’s remaining players, and their best performances this year. Caleb - 39.2 points, Puka 46.0 points, Rams DEF - 20.57 points. It wasn’t enough.

And as SNF kicked off, and the Niners and Bears raced to a 14-14 start in the first quarter, I thought, “my god, it’s happening.” But despite the five touchdowns the Bears would score, two were poached by Deandre Swift, and one from the Bears DEF, which meant that Caleb would finish with just 24 points. Not enough. And finally, up 72 points, with just Puka and the Rams defense left, I began to let myself feel a little bit of hope.

Before MNF, Big Brett gave us this absolute beauty:

And that pretty much sums it up. The Rams, like Jord, would choke, and Puka would finish with just 15 points, and the final tally would be Breaking Veg 141, Yes Chef! 95. Your commissioner is now a two-time IFL Champion, joining the likes of TC and the Doc, and winning it all for the first time since 2015 in Superbowl II. As good as that feels, it feels better to deny Jord from the repeat. To win back-to-back, and on pick 18 of all things, would be an embarrassment to the league, and I feel honored to do my part to stop it from happening. Though it shouldn’t have ever gotten this close. Breaking Veg finish as the highest scoring team in the league this week, the 5th highest scoring team on the season, the highest scoring team weeks 6-17, and outscored the next highest team by 17 PPG over the last 7 weeks. Drake Maye finishes as QB2 on the season, Trey McBride as TE1 (outscoring TE2 by 109 points), and Travis Etienne as RB10. After a disappointing 2-7 start, only to win 5 in a row to just sneak into the playoffs, and to finish on an 8-game winstreak to win it all is legendary. Hats off to my boys.

While the Superbowl went on, and unlike the Superbowl, our other two games of import were nailbiters.

For third place, Qualley and Hunt slugged it out, sluggishly, and Qualley led Hunt by 10 with Hunt having the only remaining player left, Jauan “Jauana Man” Jennings playing in SNF, and he would Jauana Man his way to a clutch victory for Hunt, winning 91-90, and grabbing our regular season champ third place. While third is disappointing for the record setting Groovers, who started the season 10-0, always good to end the season on a high note, and hey, $10 is $10. Qualley, who failed to make his third consecutive Superbowl, will look to make his fourth consecutive playoffs again next year.

The battle for best draft odds of 2026, our Consolation Championship was even more dramatic, as Curtis’ Last Ride would have an epic sendoff weekend, their King Henry scored four touchdowns, ran for 216 yards, and posted FIFTY points on Austin Saturday night, earning him $7 for the week, and propelling him to a 128-77 lead. Austin, had Bijan Robinson and Cody Parkinson left headed into MNF, and down 51 points, needed a Bijan heater to have any hope. And boy, did he get just that. 229 all-purpose yards, and two touchdowns gave him FORTY and a duzzy from Cody Parkinson was just the number he needed to win the Consolation ‘Ship 129-128. Austin repeats as Consolation Champ, winning it last year as well, making him the second-ever Consolation Champ to repeat. He had best draft odds for 2025, and he’ll get best draft odds again for 2026. Curtis, will end his season, and possibly his career, on a loss, but with a career record 101-90, one of only three coaches with 100 wins. He has had two Cul-de-Sack division titles, two wildcard bids, is the 2022 IFL Superbowl IX Champion, and most importantly, is the 4-time overall and 3-Peat Pick ‘Em Champ. He’s had an absolutely legendary career, and if this really is the end, salute to you, my friend. Legend. The Cul-de-Sack won’t be the same without you.

And that’s a wrap on 2025! Thanks for playing the most difficult yet best fantasy football league in the world and see you next year.

Daddy goes for broke, but the Commish’ clutches his second consecutive Pick ‘Em Championship, beating his percentage correct the previous year at by 2%. This year’s consensus picks were down from 61% to 54%. Shoutout to Austin for slipping into second with just 38% accuracy on the year, taking full advantage of the playoff bonus points.

The Commissioner

Semifinals Recap

Highest Scoring Team ($15)
Last Ride
Coach Curtis
149.27 pts

Highest Scoring Player ($7)
Yes Chef!
Coach Jord
Puka Nacua - 46 pts

I mean… you want to talk about just an absolutely unreal week of football… this was the one, boys, and what better time than the semifinals of the IFL playoffs?!

We’re going to break down both semifinal games chronologically, side by side.

Starting with the Rams / Seahawks game on TNF, which was one of the most miraculous comebacks I’ve ever witnessed, Jord and Yes Chef! got off to a HOT start, with Puka putting up 46 points, the league’s best this week, and a respectable 10 points from the Rams DEF, Jord’s projection over Hunt’s Groovers certainly spiked. On the other side of the bracket, Qualley and his DSM Football Team hit JSN’s projection almost exactly, 23.6 points, and the Commish’ and Breaking Veg could neither raise nor lower their expectations, and their odds to win this game remained 50/50.

Saturday brought us just one more player into the mix from the semi’s, and that was Qualley’s Jalen Hurts, whose 19.9 points was just a couple points shy of his projections, and Qualley was out to a 43.5 point lead.

The noon games Sunday kicked off, and Mike Evans wasted no time scoring a touchdown for Breaking Veg, but was relatively quiet the rest of the window, and CeeDee Lamb had his worst game of the season, but thankfully for the Commish’, Qualley’s Tony Pollard and Chris Godwin were kept from the endzone. McLaughlin putting up 10 points didn’t feel good though. End of noon games: Qualley 72.45 - Commish’ 24.45. Jord pitched Javonte Williams, Tet McMillan and made the bold move to start waiver pickup Audric Estime over Troy Franklin (bad choice), and only McMillan produced. Meanwhile, Hunt began to chip away, as Harold Fannin and De’Von Achane both put up double digits, and Badgley and the Bucs DEF added another dozen. End of noon games: Jord 88.02 - Hunt 49.01.

In the late afternoon slot, Jord made another mistake, starting Jacoby Brissett over Caleb Williams, but Ka’imi Fairbairn’s 16 points bailed him out somewhat, while Hunt’s Bo Nix and Courtland Sutton continued to chip away and Jord’s lead. End of late afternoon slate: Jord 114.14 - Hunt 83.79. For my part, I was pretty nervous about the late afternoon games, as Etienne and Harvey are unreliable as it gets, but Trey McBride, TE1 on the season, is ol’ reliable and maybe, just maybe, he could keep pace with Qualley’s Sun God. Trey McBride, like CeeDee, would also have his worst game of the season, but as fate would have it, so would the Sun God. While the Texans DEF turned in 16 for Qualley, Etienne and Harvey would turn in big second halves, and the Commish’ would make up some ground. End of late afternoon slate: Qualley 97.88 - Commish’ 69.85.

Sunday Night Football is where it would all come together for Breaking Veg, though, as the New England Patriots and future NFL MVP and current Breaking Veg MVP Drake “Drake Maye” Maye would just not go away. Despite two fumbles and an interception, the stud would throw for 380 yards and two touchdown and rush for 25 yards, all good for 22.2 points and Andy “the Real Drew” Borregales would put up 10 points. All this while Qualley had to sweat the decision of starting Mark Andrews, whose 5.4 points, were offered in Brenton Strange’s stead, who had put up 15.4 points earlier in the day. Despite Qualley’s efforts, the Commish’ had cut it to one, and while I still had the Niners DEF, Qualley’s roster was spent. End of SNF: Qualley 103.28 - Commish’ 102.05.

Monday Night Football brought us old man Rivers and the Colts against the greatest quarterback the state of Iowa has ever produced, Brock Purdy and the Niners. While the Commish’ was on easy street, needing just one point, Jord was sweating, though he was up 31 points with Tyler Warren yet to play, Hunt had 2025’s RB2, Jonathan Taylor, and steady eddy Jauan Jennings, who had scored a touchdown in five of his last six games.

Prior to kickoff, Jord was stress baking and trying to frantically google his way out of his predicament:

Qualley, though all hope was lost, still was desperate to point a finger, and went down his own google rabbit hole:

The first quarter of MNF took me by surprise, and not in a good way, as the Niners gave up back to back touchdowns to the Colts, and my points began to fall, but luckily for Jord, none of that production added much of anything to Hunt’s score, just 46 yards from JT, and he would add another 20 yards in quarter two, but Jauan Jennings would gooseegg in the first half, so all things considered, Jord was sitting pretty, despite Tyler Warren not being spotted in Indianapolis before or during the game. But Jauan would immediately make things interesting in the second half, catching a touchdown pass four minutes in, and gather in two more catches for a quick 11 points in the third. JT would turn in 31 more yards, and at the end of the third, Jord was up just 7 points. For my sake, the Niners would pick six ol’ man Rivers, and put the nail in the coffin for Qualley, giving him some bittersweet relief for his Mark Andrews debacle. Jord would get some ammunition, at long last, from Warren who reeled in two of his three catches for the night to start the 4th, and those 4.7 points bought him some more time as Hunt’s Jauan “Jauana Man” Jennings and JT would continue to chip away until at 6:13 in the 4th, a 5 yard run from JT would put Hunt down just 0.6 points. But luckily for Jord, the game would get away from the Colts, and Niners would go full-on run the clock mode, shutting down Jauan, and the Colts would bench their starters, meaning Jord would hold on to his lead and return to back-to-back Superbowls, the first coach to do so since Qualley in ‘22/’23, to defend his title against your Commish’. I have to say, it feels good to be going to back to the Big One. It’s been a long, cold eight years, and after starting the season 2-7, to win seven straight to get this point, is quite a journey, and speaks volumes to levels of never quitting my team has.

Shoutout to Qualley, who has now made the semifinals or better for three consecutive years, and for three consecutive years, has fallen short. Shoutout to Hunt, who has now twice been regular season champ with historically great teams, and twice fallen short. See you in the Superbowl, Jord.

Alas, that’s not all! This week also brought us the IFL Losership, and our IFL Loser of the Year. Huzzah! TC and Ewoldt, the worst of the worst, met in the sewers in their race to the filthy bottom, and low and behold, TC came out ahead, winning 102-82. Ewoldt, is 2025’s IFL Loser of the Year, after starting the season 2-0, his hype characteristically left the room, and he finished 3-9, with a league worst 89 PPG. Better luck next year, pal.

On the other side of the coin, Brady and Aaron met for the Super Consolation ‘Ship and Brady would win handily 96-70, thanks to another ridiculous performance from James Cook. Brady gets second best draft odds for 2025, after narrowly avoiding Ewoldt’s fate. Look out for Brady and his bucks in ‘26.

Merry Christmas, coaches. Stay tuned for pick ‘em polls tomorrow!

Daddy and Chris go 4 for 5 this week, taking advantage of the big bonuses, and Daddy leapfrogs the Pickers Consensus and Jord. With 20 possible points next week, he’s within striking distance of the Commish’.

The Commissioner

Quarterfinals Recap

Highest Scoring Team ($15)
No Nonsense Nelson
Coach Aaron
153.18 pts

Highest Scoring Player ($7)
Des Moines Football Team
Coach Qualley
Amon-Ra St. Brown - 41.65 pts
(Aaron’s Kyle Pitts scored 48.1 points this week but cannot win both weekly awards.)

What a spicy opener to the playoffs! Kicking it off with our regular season champ, Hunt, and his opponent of choice Jesse, it was a nailbiter till the end. Jesse had a big start with his Jags kicker / DST combo putting up 28 points and Dallas Goedert another 26.5 pts, but was quelled by his Justin Herbert & McConkey stack only combining for 12.9 pts. Jesse also was fortunate to have a quiet 14.6 points from Hunt’s MVP Jonathan Taylor, but even worse for him was that his MVP Jahmyr Gibbs had his worst outing of the season, just 8.3 pts. Going into Monday, Hunt was down just 13 points, with only Achane left to play, a point total he had only failed to hurdle once this season, and while it took every minute of MNF to get there, he did, and Hunt’s Groovers won 104-99, sending Hunt to the semifinals and Jesse and his kids back to whatever sick planet they came from. Hunt took full advantage of his #1 seed too, as his opponent of choice for the opener was the only team of the four he would have beat. 200 IQ stuff right there.

Scallon and his Pineview Knights made more of a 10 IQ choice, selecting the Commish’ SPICEY BBQ HOT Breaking Veg, who not only had scored the most points in the league over the last four weeks, but would come to BALL on Sunday, kicking off the noon games with a twenty deuce from Drake Maye, a thirty burger from Etienne, and a FOURTY NUKE from TE1 Trey McBride. The Pineview Knights, meanwhile, seemed to be sleepwalking through their quarterfinal matchup, posting a season low 73.33 points. I’m not sure that this is consolation for Scallon, but he would have lost to any of the seeds he could have picked, as he scored the least in the championship playoffs, and least in the league this week. Hats off to him for having the balls to draft CMC this year, after his injury plagued season last year, and seeing that through to a division championship.

The other game on the right side of the bracket, was a touch closer, that was until Qualley’s Amon-Ra St. Brown revealed his true SUN GOD form, and put up 41.65 points, and making Nick’s comeback a daunting one, but not impossible, if Dak and Waddle had big games in SNF and MNF. That was; however, not to be, as they combined for just 17 points, and Qualley would win 136-105, sending the Cul-de-Sack champ into the offseason. The #7 DSM Football Team, PPG-bid numero uno, will face the commish’s Breaking Veg in the semi’s next week.

Well, I saved the best for last, and truly, so much happened in the Jord v Drew matchup that I’m certain details will be lost to history, but I’ll do my best. The interesting foil in the early phase of the matchup was that all but Drew’s RB1 Brandon Aubrey played in the noon games, so the scale was tipped early and often, and for nearly two hours, things were looking DIRE for Drew. The Patriots were dominating Josh Allen and the only one scoring any points at all for Zach’s Barn of Horrors was Zay Flowers. Meawhile Jord’s Caleb Williams and McMillan were putting up an average 18 points and mediocre 4.5 points respectively. But after commissioning his father, Rick, to give his team a legendary butt-chewing at halftime, Drew’s team either balked or nutted up, and mostly balked, but Josh Allen strung together twenty points in the final two quarters, and got him to about 89 points. Jord and Yes Chef! then had a roller coaster of their own in the late slate of games, as his mostly Rams roster were in a shootout against the Lions, which helped him in terms of Puka and Davante, but hurt the Rams DST, who finished with just 4 points for him. But more dramatic than that, Davante would exit the game early in the fourth quarter, after scoring just 12.1 points, and almost immediately after that Puka left the game with an injury as well. And that put a pit in Jord’s stomach, as he realized that even if he wins this game against Drew, he may lose the war. Hope was not totally lost; however, as Puka would return to the game seemingly completely fine, and finish with 189 scrimmage yards, good for 29.65 points. Not pictured, in that Rams game, was the gift I gave Jord of Ka’imi Fairbairn, who posted 17.75 points for him as well, and that gave Jord a 91.86-89.05 lead heading into the Drew v Jord finale that was SNF. Left to play for Jord was Javonte Williams, RB9 on the season, and averaging 14.9 points. For Drew, Brandon Aubrey, K2 on the season, averaging 11.1 PPG. Jord had a dream start, as Javonte would rush for a touchdown halfway through the first, putting him up 7 points immediately, but that almost just as instantly turned into a nightmare, as Javonte hurt his should on the touchdown, leaving the game, and was questionable to return. Aubrey would kick another extra point in the 2nd quarter, and with 6 minutes left, would line up for another automatic 50+ yarder, his millionth of the season, and wait…. what what this? WIDE RIGHT. Instead of 5 points for the make, he loses 0.25 points. He does drill a 37 yarder before the half to cut the lead to just 3 points; and Jord is mentally onto next season, as Javonte hasn’t been seen in Dallas since the fourth. But like Gandalf after his battle in the Mines of Moria, Javonte would return for the second half, and put up 4 more points in the 3rd quarter, while Aubrey hit two more field goals, adding 7 points, and putting the game at basically a tie. Aubrey opened the fourth with a 59-yard attempt, that would possibly seal the game for Drew, and…… unfathomably, he would MISS AGAIN, wide right. Javonte would put away 53 rush yards in the 4th, and hold the lead for Jord, winning 110-106. Our 2024 IFL Champ is moving onto the semifinals, where he’ll face this year’s regular season champ Hunt. Drew, whose team was always bad, I mean, we all knew that after his ridiculous bot-draft, finally ends his charade, relegated to an offseason of misery, what’s he’s always deserved.

Lots of doings in the Consolation and Super Consolation bracket, which I don’t have time to get into today, but will preview the Super Consolation ‘Ship and Toilet Bowl Losership tomorrow, though I would like to shoutout TC for getting SMOKED by his landlord Aaron, just like his Hawkeyes pretty much every time he turns around.

Playoff pick ‘em brings bonus points but no movement at the top. Nick has the best week of anyone, climbing a few spots. The points continue to ramp up as the playoff race continues!

The Commissioner

Week 14 Recap

Highest Scoring Team ($15)
Zach’s Barn of Horrors
Coach Drew
141.81 pts

Highest Scoring Player ($7)
ALL-TIME D
Coach Brady
Michael Wilson - 37.95 pts
(Drew’s Josh Allen had 39.34 points but cannot win both weekly awards.)

6 playoff spots up for grabs, including a division title, in the final week of the regular season, let’s dive right in.

The remaining division title, Cul-de-Sack, effectively came down to Curtis and Nick. Curtis needed to win this week, and Nick to lose, and Curtis did his job against Chris, besting him 88-67, and things were looking REALLY good for him, as Qualley was down just 12 points to Nick headed into last night’s game with just Jalen Hurts yet to play, who had only posted a sub-12 point performance ONCE ALL SEASON. But Chargers v Eagles in MNF was one for the sickos, and Jalen Hurts would turn the ball over FIVE TIMES, including twice on the same play. You literally can’t make this stuff up. Jalen Hurts finishes with a -4.6 point stat line and Nick wins 101-85, clinching his second division title in three years, and 4th all-time, tying Zach for most in the CdS, and his 6th playoff bid in 12 seasons. Nick grabs the 3rd seed in the playoffs. Congrats brother, and condolences to Curtis. Curtis falls to 9th, top seed in the consolation bracket.

Speaking of the consolation bracket, a quick explainer. Since we have 18 teams now, we’ll be going back to the three playoff system. 8 teams make the championship playoffs. 6 teams make the consolation playoffs (top 2 seeds get a bye), and 4 teams make the super consolation playoffs. Consolation playoffs, you win it all, and you get best draft odds for 2026, lose and your season is done. Super consolation playoffs, win twice and you get second best draft odds for 2026. Lose twice and you are our 2025 WORST COACH OF THE YEAR.

Okay, back to the action. Next up, Drew, who controlled his destiny, with a win and in game against Father Daddy, did exactly that. Actually, he went above and beyond, SPANKING Daddy 142-79, thanks to a ridiculous near 40-burger from Josh Allen, and 23 points from Brandon Aubrey. It turns out Pope Father Daddy was not the man for job at Zach’s Barn of Horrors. At 9-5, Drew’s win clinched him the 4-seed for the playoffs, with his 3rd ever wildcard bid, and 9th playoff bid in 12 seasons, most by any coach in the league. The dumbest fact in the IFL. Daddy’s third straight loss puts him at 6-8 for the his return to the league, a respectable first season back, and places him in the middle of the consolation playoffs.

Then, probably the most consequential game of the week, Jesse v Jack, the winner of the which automatically made the playoffs, loser of which had to cross their fingers for a PPG bid, was a great start for Jack on TNF, as David Montgomery and Jake Bates both exceeded their projections, except for the fact that Jesse’s Jahmyr Gibbs went nuclear with three touchdowns, posting 35.5 points. Outside of Josh Jacobs, the rest of Jack’s team laid a gooseegg and by the time Monday morning rolled around, Jesse needed 30 points from four players to beat Jack and cement his playoff standing. It took nearly until the 4th quarter, but it did happen and then some, and Jesse would win 113-95. Jesse clinches the 5th seed as a wildcard, his second, and 4th playoff bid all-time.

Jord, whose team is clearly adrift at sea without a captain, a team whose captain is busy living it up in Mexico, did what you might expect, and lost their win and in game against Joe this week, 104-116, but as fate would have it, all the other 7-win teams would lose, leaving Jord as the lone 8-win at large team, and he would lose his way into the third and final wildcard bid, the 6th seed. It’s Jord’s 4th wildcard bid and 8th playoff appearance, second most by any coach. The win for Joe, his third in a row, is also huge, as he holds all the right head-to-head wins to make him the lone 5-win team to avoid the Super Consolation / Tournament to Not Be Last bracket and just sneak into the Consolation Playoffs.

The remaining two playoff seeds are earned by the two highest scoring teams on the season that have yet to earn a playoff bid, and the first of which was conferred to Qualley and the Des Moines Football Team, as despite their aforementioned blunder against Nick this week, Qualley’s 112 PPG on the season is still the 4th highest in the league, and places him as the 7-seed in the playoffs. It’s Qualley’s first PPG-bid, and his 4th playoff bid in his six seasons, an impressive ratio.

Jesse’s win was consequential for your commish’, as it meant that with a win of my own, against Austin this week, my Breaking Veg would make the playoffs as the final PPG-bid and despite the possibly intentional sleeper agent implosion of having to start a Tyrod Taylor who was knocked out of the game with a final stat line of -2.76 points, the boys rallied, standing on business, and beating Austin 110-73, dashing Austin’s remaining playoff hopes. Your commish’ will earn a PPG-bid for the 3rd straight year, and his 7th playoff bid. Austin will fall to the 2-seed in the consolation playoffs, where he’ll have a bye.

The seeds are set. For the championship playoffs, beginning with our top seed The Groovers, our regular season champ and X-IA champ and coach Hunt, picked #5 Meet My Kids and coach Jesse for his opener. Our 2-seed, the Papa Jord’s champ Pineview Knights and Coach Scallon selected #8 Breaking Veg, and our 3-seed the Cul-de-Sack champ Alexa, Draft My Team and Coach Nick, chose #7 DSM Football Team and coach Qualley, leaving #4 seed Drew to play #6 seed Yes Chef!.

Good luck, gentlemen! Here’s all three playoff brackets below.

Bounty Brawl

The $20 bounty goes to your commish’ this year! Here’s the season long trajectory.

Jack earns the bounty week 1, scoring least points in the league, who carries it to week 3, where he loses it to Daddy.

Daddy carries it to week 5, where TC takes it off his hands.

TC loses it the very next week to Nick.

Nick holds it to rivalry week, where he loses it to hated rival Curtis.

Curtis holds it to week 11, where TC once again picks it up!

But lo-and-behold, your commish’ claims it in week 12, in the middle of his heater, and as were to win out, earns the $20 bounty all for himself.

Thanks for playing, gents!

X-IA gives it their all in Week 14, but alas, the top IFL division for 2025 is Papa Jord’s!, their fifth year as top dog, breaking their tie with the Cul-de-Sack, officially making them the most dominant division in the league. This is the 3rd time in 4 years they’ve finished as top division, and they take the crown from X-IA, 2024’s top division.

The Commish’ goes 6 for 7 to extend his lead, while Jesse hits 5 for 7 to possibly begin his totally possible epic comeback? Bonus points start this week for the playoffs, so plenty of time to make a move.

The Commissioner

Week 13 Recap

Highest Scoring Team ($15)
Breaking Veg
Coach Zach
143.72 pts

Highest Scoring Player ($7)
No Nonsense Nelson
Coach Aaron (2nd time this season)
AJ Brown - 35.2 pts

CURRENT PLAYOFF STANDINGS

  1. Hunt’s Groovers (11-2) [X-IA CHAMP] *Clinched Playoffs

  2. John’s Pineview Knights (9-4) [PJ CHAMP] *Clinched Playoffs

  3. Nick’s Alexa, Draft My Team (7-6) [CdS Leader]

  4. Drew’s Zach’s Barn of Horrors (8-5) [Wildcard Leader - 114 PPG] X-IA

  5. Jesse’s Meet MY Kids (8-5) [Wildcard Leader - 110 PPG] X-IA

  6. Jord’s Yes Chef! (8-5) [Wildcard Leader - 109 PPG] PJ

  7. Qualley’s Des Moines Football Team (6-7) [PPG Leader - 114 PPG] PJ

  8. Zach’s Breaking Veg (6-7) [PPG Leader - 106 PPG] CdS

bubble teams (BY RECORD)

  1. Austin’s Basically Iowa State (7-6) [104 PPG] PJ

  2. Jack’s Pronto Stache (7-6) [101 PPG] X-IA

bubble teams (BY PPG)

  1. Austin’s Basically Iowa State (7-6) [104 PPG] PJ

  2. Jack’s Pronto Stache (7-6) [101 PPG] X-IA

  3. Daddy’s Father Daddy (6-7) [101 PPG] PJ

  4. Joe’s Last Seen at Brady’s (4-9) [100 PPG] CdS

A candid photo of the IFL Commissioner analyzing the playoff seeding possibilities. 12/2/2025

Let’s go, boys! The penultimate week of the regular season did NOT disappoint. Let’s get right into it.

Did I will one of the biggest upsets of the year into existence? Yes. With a pair of clutch performances from James Cook and Jameson Williams, and 6.4 points from Theo Johnson in MNF, the 15th power-ranked team in the league and their unlikely coach Brady, upset the big kahuna and reigning IFL champ Jord, whose team posts their first sub-100 point game since Week 7. Brady clutches it 95-91 and while his playoff hopes are long gone, he snaps Jord’s 3-game winstreak and turns of Jord’s smooth sailing to the playoffs.

The loss not only puts Jord’s wildcard bid in jeopardy, but gave Scallon the automatic clinch of the Papa Jord’s division, despite his insanely close loss to Curtis this week, 90.04 - 90.56. Congrats Scallon! First year in Papa Jord’s and he’s the division champ. It’s only Scallon’s second-ever division title, winning the now the former Boy Scout Cyclone division back in 2019. He’s also locked up the 2-seed in the playoffs, giving him second choice of opponent for the opening round.

The win for Curtis is also important, as Cul-de-Sack leader Nick would lose again this week, to Ewoldt 101-111, putting him a game back in the division. The commish’ would beat Daddy in a kind of coming out party for his dark horse team despite Daddy putting up the 4th most points this week, 144-117, putting Breaking Veg also a game back in the CdS; AND Chris would lose to Joe 98-122, meaning he remains a game back in the CdS as well. Incredibly, Chris and Curtis play each other in Week 14, meaning that there’s a scenario in which 3 of those 4 coaches (Nick, Chris, Curtis and Commish’) all end up 7-7 to finish the season. If Curtis is one of those teams, he’ll clinch the division as he would have beaten all the teams in question. Of course, if Nick beats Qualley in Week 14, he’ll clinch automatically. The loss for the aforementioned Daddy and Chris eliminate them from traditional playoff contention via wildcard, but they can still technically get in via PPG, though that is admittedly a longshot.

Drew’s dumb team won this week, beating Nelson 122-106, as did Jesse, who won a low-scoring affair against Qualley 91-69. Both Drew and Jesse climb to 8-5, tied with Jord, and the three of them all would currently grab a wildcard bid for the playoffs. A win next week for any of them would mean a clinch. A loss for any of them, particularly a low-scoring loss; however, would put their fates in some jeopardy, as Austin, who won his second straight game, this week against Hunt 95-89 on the back of a pure heart performance from Marcus Mariota, and Jack, who lost this week to TC 72-82, sit a game back at 7-6, but both hold some crucial tiebreakers over our three 8-win coaches. Jack beat Drew; for example, never played Jord, and plays Jesse in Week 14, so a win over Jesse would automatically place him as a wildcard. Austin beat Jack & Drew, lost to Jord, and never played Jesse, so a win and a couple of losses from the right coaches could put him in as well.

Of course a high scoring loss bodes well for all of the 8-win coaches, as they currently sit above my Breaking Veg in PPG, as the current de facto PPG-bid 8-seed for the playoffs.

Last year at this time, four of our eight playoff teams were clinched, this year, just two are determined. 6 spots still up for grabs, and 12 teams vying for them. It doesn’t get any better than this!

A bounceback week for CdS digs themselves out of their hole a bit, but with one week to go it’s too little too late. X-IA tightens things up as Papa Jord’s has their worst week in a minute. They’ll have the edge for the final week, but could certainly be leap frogged.

A tough week of pick ‘em for everyone but Daddy, who goes 3 for 4 and climbs into 5th.

The Commissioner

Week 12 Recap

Highest Scoring Team ($15)
Yes Chef!
Coach Jord (2nd time this season)
138.32 pts

Highest Scoring Player ($7)
Meet MY Kids
Coach Jesse (2nd time this season)
Jahmyr Gibbs - 53.4 pts (2nd time this season)

CURRENT PLAYOFF STANDINGS

  1. Hunt’s Groovers (11-1) [X-IA CHAMP] *Clinched Playoffs

  2. John’s Pineview Knights (9-3) [PJ Leader] *Clinched Playoffs

  3. Nick’s Alexa, Draft My Team (7-5) [CdS Leader]

  4. Jord’s Yes Chef! (8-4) [Wildcard Leader] PJ

  5. Drew’s Zach’s Barn of Horrors (7-5) [Wildcard Leader] X-IA

  6. Jack’s Pronto Stache (7-5) [Wildcard Leader] X-IA

  7. Qualley’s Des Moines Football Team (6-6) [PPG Leader - 118 PPG] PJ

  8. Jesse’s Meet MY Kids (7-5) [PPG Leader - 112 PPG] X-IA

bubble teams (BY RECORD)

  1. Daddy’s Father Daddy (6-6) [100 PPG] PJ

  2. Austin’s Basically Iowa State (6-6) [104 PPG] PJ

  3. Chris’ Can’t Bench These Vibes (6-6) [97 PPG] CdS

  4. Curtis’ Last Ride (5-7) [96 PPG] CdS

bubble teams (BY PPG)

  1. Austin’s Basically Iowa State (6-6) [104 PPG] PJ

  2. Zach’s Breaking Veg (5-7) [103 PPG] CdS

  3. Daddy’s Father Daddy (6-6) [100 PPG] PJ

  4. Joe’s Last Seen at Brady’s (3-9) [99 PPG] CdS

Our Game of the Week was as spicey as advertised, and my favorite possible outcome, Drew losing an excruciating Monday Night Football 1v1 came to fruition as Rico Dowdle diddled his way to just 10.9 points, which was quite easily lapped by the Pineview Knights captain, Sir Christian McCaffrey, whose 27.2 points led the Knights to a 113-109 comeback win. CMC has now scored 20+ points in 10 out of 12 games this season, and at least temporarily, usurps Jonathan Taylor as the scoring leader for the season. The 49ers have their bye Week 14, so JT will get a chance to take back his crown, but down 15 points on the season, it’s going to be a tight race. With his 7th consecutive win, Scallon has officially clinched, at minimum, a wildcard spot in the playoffs. Even with the loss, Drew currently still sits as the 5 seed in the playoffs, were the season to end today. But with two weeks to go, and a vicious pack of teams on his heels, he can just as easily choke this away.

Our other dramatic finish last night was a bizarre kind of Power Rangers fever dream. Jesse’s Blue Ranger, Jahmyr Gibbs scored a truly incredible 53.4 points, surpassing Jonathan Taylor’s 52.1 points from just two weeks ago, for the highest individual point total of the season, and the 7th highest score in IFL history (as scored at the time). But with three byes to contend with, that was the bulk of Jesse’s scoring, and Brady refused to go away, putting up considerable points in the late window Sunday, and finishing his day with a 4 point lead. Jesse scrambled to roster Xavier Legette, who had yet to be rostered by any team all season, due to his truly unreliable nature, and it was looking grim, after nearly 3 quarters, Xavier had yet to field a catch. But late in the third, he brought in his first, and would receive four more in the 4th, to JUST get it done for his likely one and only start this season. Jesse would pull off the comeback and beat Brady 117-116, not allowing Gibbs’ herculean effort to go in vain.

Our third and final nailbiter this week, the meeting of two 6-5 coaches, Jack and Chris was over Sunday night, as Chris led by 10 going into that game, while Jack relied on the sporatic rookie Tez Johnson who was able to get it done with a TD against the Rams, and Jack would clinch it 101-99. Even though Jack and Jesse still share the same record, as they did last week, their current playoff seeds flip this week, as the tiebreakers with Daddy and Chris favored Jesse, but without them, Jack takes the advantage. So as of right now, Jack would take the 6-seed on record, the final wildcard, and Jesse would get in on PPG, as the 8-seed. Jack and Jesse will play in Week 14, the final week of the regular season, in a matchup that will certainly determine their playoff fates. The loss for Chris bumps him down a spot in the bubble teams who are on the outside looking in, but at just a game back from wildcard, and two weeks to go, things could just as easily flip.

One team that changed their trajectory and fate for the season this week - Austin and Basically Iowa State. After starting off the season 5-0, and following that up with a 6 game losing streak, coach Austin finally got his team to snap out of it, and put the hurt on Nick 111-85. Austin evens back up at 6-6, and keeps himself in the bubble conversation, both by record and PPG, a great place to be there if he decides to win out. And if I know anything about his teams, if there’s one win, there’s more to follow.

After 5 weeks, I thought it’d be fun to check in on the historic 6-way trade, and see how things are stacking up. Here’s all 6 teams and the points accrued by each player post-trade:

While total points is not the best way to evaluate trades, one should probably look at points above or below player being replaced, that’s too much detail for me to look at right now, so this is the best we have. I’m also assigning arbitrary points to the FAAB here as well. But I think it’s fair to say even with the injury to Brian Thomas Jr., Daddy is not upset at all with his end of it. George Kittle and Chase Brown have done nothing but PRODUCE, while CeeDee has been pretty average in that time. We’ll check in again end of season, but just thought it was fun to take a look.

Two weeks to go boys!

Papa Jord’s took over the lead last week, and this week extends it to 37 games! The CdS continues to flounder.

Your commish’ adds to his lead in another 3 for 4 week.

The Commissioner

Week 11 Recap

Highest Scoring Team ($15)
Pineview Knights
Coach John (2nd time this season)
135.61 pts

Highest Scoring Player ($7)
Zach’s Barn of Horrors
Coach Drew (3rd time this season)
Josh Allen - 41.18 pts

CURRENT PLAYOFF STANDINGS

  1. Hunt’s Groovers (10-1) [X-IA CHAMP] *Clinched Playoffs

  2. John’s Pineview Knights (8-3) [PJ Leader]

  3. Nick’s Alexa, Draft My Team (7-4) [CdS Leader]

  4. Drew’s Zach’s Barn of Horrors (7-4) [Wildcard Leader] X-IA

  5. Jord’s Yes Chef! (7-4) [Wildcard Leader] PJ

  6. Jesse’s Meet MY Kids (6-5) [Wildcard Leader] X-IA

  7. Qualley’s Des Moines Football Team (5-6) [PPG Leader - 116 PPG] PJ

  8. Jack’s Pronto Stache (6-5) [PPG Leader - 103 PPG] X-IA

bubble teams (BY RECORD)

  1. Daddy’s Father Daddy (6-5) [99 PPG] PJ

  2. Chris’ Can’t Bench These Vibes (6-5) [97 PPG] CdS

  3. Austin’s Basically Iowa State (5-6) [103 PPG] PJ

  4. Curtis’ Last Ride (5-6) [96 PPG] CdS

bubble teams (BY PPG)

  1. Austin’s Basically Iowa State (5-6) [103 PPG] PJ

  2. Zach’s Breaking Veg (4-7) [101 PPG] CdS

  3. Joe’s Last Seen at Brady’s (2-9) [100 PPG] CdS

  4. Daddy’s Father Daddy (6-5) [99 PPG] PJ

Jonathan Taylor takes one week off, and Hunt’s Groovers suffer their first loss of the season, and their first point total under 104 points all season, losing to our reigning champ Jord and Yes Chef! 83-104. It wasn’t exactly a convincing win by Jordan, as a Jonathan Taylor led team likely beats Jord here, but Jord’s 25% Rams team did play the best defensive coordinator in the league, who had the Rams receiving corps bottled up. A win is a win though, and it’s a big one for Jord, who is battling to make the playoffs. He currently sits in the second wild card slot, were the season to end today. For Hunt’s part, it keeps open the possibility that he could get run down for the #1 seed, as he is now just two games up with three weeks to go.

The man that’s chasing Hunt, and leading Jord in Papa Jord’s, is Scallon and his Pineview Knights, who easily dismissed Qualley this week 136-96 behind ANOTHER 30 burger from CMC, and is now the current winstreak title leader, having now won six in a row. Scallon now has the second best PPG in the league, at 119, and is in a prime position for a playoff spot. Though, he will have to work around CMC’s bye in Week 14, so if he can close out the next two weeks with a couple wins, he’ll surely be locked. Qualley, unfortunately, falls to 5-6, but with his 116 PPG on the season, good enough still for 3rd best in the league, he still currently would hold a playoff stake.

Regrettably, after now winning three in a row and currently holding a wildcard position, I’m afraid your commissioner journalist will have to start covering Drew’s stupid team, whose 105 points this week was almost entirely scored by Josh Allen’s dumb performance, and he breezed past Joe and Last Seen at Brady’s 105-79. His team is 7-4, who cares? What a snoozefest. Anyway, enough about Drew.

Way more interesting was our perfectly symmetrical 5-5 meets 5-5 matchup between Daddy and Austin which in nonsymmetrical fashion Daddy ran away with, 123-97. At 6-5, Daddy continues to to stay alive for playoff contention, and encouraging for him, his end of the historic 6-way trade is really starting to pay dividends, as Chase Brown and George Kittle have been popping off of late, and really more than making up for the Brian Thomas injury. Though Bijan returned to form, Austin continues his epic losing streak, but will look to turn things around with the imminent return of Trey Benson.

We had a couple nailbiters this week as well, with TC and his team mascot Jameis Winston JUST eking it out against Curis 97-94 and grabbing his 4th win of the season, sending sending Curtis back below .500 to 5-6. Then we had Nick’s epic comeback over Jesse, whose 23.32 points from Dak Prescott in MNF were just enough to beat Jesse 82-80. Nick remains in the driver seat of the Cul-de-Sack, with Chris remaining a single game back, beating Brady this week 92-74.

Three weeks to go, gentlemen! Time to buck up.

Papa Jord’s has a solid week all around and leap frogs X-IA by a single game with just three weeks to go!

Kind of just a status quo week in pick ‘em, with your commish’ still on top.

The Commissioner

Week 10 Recap

Highest Scoring Team ($15)
Groovers
Coach Hunt (3rd time this season)
171.24 pts

Highest Scoring Player ($7)
Meet MY Kids
Coach Jesse
Jahmyr Gibbs - 39.7 pts
(Hunt had the highest and 2nd highest scoring players this week, but can’t win both weekly awards, so it falls to #3 Jahmyr this week!)

I mean, very easily this entire recap could be about Hunt’s team. Despite starting his second consecutive game without a kicker, his Groovers score the most points in the league this week, decimating Chris and Can’t Bench These Vibes 171-91, the third highest point total by any team all season, with 52.1 points from Jonathan Taylor. JT’s performance is the best by any player all season, edging out the previous best of 45.3 points from Brock Bowers last week. It also ties Dalvin Cook’s 2020 Week 8 performance for the 8th best in IFL history!

Of course, with the win the Groovers are now the first ever team to start the season 10-0, and Hunt now owns the longest and third longest single season win streaks in IFL history. There’s also the matter of his scoring, which is also historically high. If the season ended today, his 131.79 PPG would be the third highest of any team in IFL history, adjusted, only beaten by Jord’s 2018 133.7 PPG Momma Cat and TC’s 2019 132.7 PPG Don’t Mess with the Zoquon squads. And then there’s point differential - which at 26.32% higher than the league average this season would actually make the Groovers the most dominant team in IFL history if that were to hold, besting TC’s same Zoquon squad of 24.13%.

Lastly, before I shut up about Hunt, his Groovers is also only the second team in IFL history to win his division and clinch the playoffs with 4 weeks left in the regular season, following fellow X-IA coach Jesse and his 2019 team 3-2-1 Spike. That’s right, the Groovers are your 2025 X-IA champ, and that leads us to taking a look at the current playoff standings. If the playoffs started today, here’s where we’d be:

CURRENT PLAYOFF STANDINGS

  1. Hunt’s Groovers (10-0) [X-IA CHAMP] *Clinched Playoffs

  2. John’s Pineview Knights (7-3) [PJ Leader]

  3. Nick’s Alexa, Draft My Team (6-4) [CdS Leader]

  4. Drew’s Zach’s Barn of Horrors (6-4) [Wildcard Leader] X-IA

  5. Jack’s Pronto Stache (6-4) [Wildcard Leader] X-IA

  6. Jesse’s Meet MY Kids (6-4) [Wildcard Leader] X-IA

  7. Qualley’s Des Moines Football Team (5-5) [PPG Leader - 118 PPG] PJ

  8. Jord’s Yes Chef! (6-4) [PPG Leader - 108 PPG] PJ

X-IA, who has been the most dominant division this season, would grab all three wildcard bids, and notably all three of those current wildcard slots would win this week, Drew’s Zach’s Barn of Horrors knocking off Qualley 106-95, Jack’s Pronto Stache beating Nick’s Alexa, Draft My Team 112-100, and Jesse’s Meet MY Kids going full Ivan Ooze on TC 160-71. Jesse, whose team has seen a resurgence in the second half of the season, has actually averaged the second most points in the league over the last four weeks with 135 PPG second only to Hunt. Spikey hot!

Papa Jord’s, who remains to be led by Scallon and his Pineview Knights, who would win their 5th consecutive game, this week against Father Dady 97-87, also have two bonus entries to the current playoff standings, Qualley, and Jord’s Yes Chef!, who as as it stands would earn the two outstanding PPG bids.

Of course, with four weeks to go, and a bevy of 5-5 teams, the playoff teams will assuredly change, and even a team like Joe’s, who did see their second victory of the season and back-to-back, smoking Brady 134-115, could snatch a PPG bid, sitting at 102 PPG on the year, just 6 shy from Jord’s average.

Finally, although he’s still active duty, I’d be remiss if I didn’t thank Curtis for his service on this week of Veteran’s Day, and point out that he has quietly resurrected his team from the brink of irrelevancy, winning his third straight game this week, beating Austin 100-88, and clawing his way back to 5-5 and threatening Nick’s lead of the division in what may be his final season. Salute to you, sir!

X-IA gives itself a little breathing room, and CdS digs themselves out of their hole, but it may be too little too late.

Well, I forgot to pick the first three games this week, thought I’d give you all a chance to catch up a bit, and Drew and Jord at least, take advantage.

The Commissioner

Week 9 Recap

Highest Scoring Team ($15)
Zach’s Barn of Horrors
Coach Drew (2nd time this season)
141.44 pts

Highest Scoring Player ($7)
Last Seen at Brady’s
Coach Joe
Brock Bowers - 45.3 pts

You might think that the IFL wouldn’t get any spicier than Rivalry Week, but Week 9 did just that. Four games were decided in MNF, and six of our nine matchups were decided by 10 or less points, including one that was decided on one of the last plays of the game last night.

But first, our Game of the Week. Despite architecting his dream team via the historic 6-way trade, and 9 out of 10 pickers preferring Jord and Yes Chef! over Drew and Zach’s Barn of Horrors, and Jord getting a near 40-burger from Caleb Williams in the completely ridiculous Bengals / Bears game, Drew’s team just refused to go away, with Josh Allen and Rico Dowdle both putting up 30, and really his whole team contributing, and that put Jord down about 14 going into MNF. But his RB1, Javonte Williams had a quiet night, and Drew would upset Jord 141-131. Both teams move to 5-4.

For Drew, he still remains four games back in X-IA, as division leader Hunt and the Groovers would win their 9th consecutive game this week, 118-112 over Jack and Pronto Stache. Hunt got a little help from the fantasy gods on this one, as Jack lost two players mid-game, CJ Stroud with a concussion, and Tucker Kraft with an ACL tear. The latter of which is a huge blow for Jack, as Kraft has been a top 4 TE this season. Jack falls to 5-4 with about half the league, and Hunt’s 9-0 start makes him the first ever 9-0 team in IFL history, and just the fourth team to ever go on a 9-game win streak in a single season. Hunt did coach one of the previous three teams that had a 9-game win streak, his 2021 Groovers team, who would actually go on to win 13 in a row, the all-time single season record, which is to say, he’s likely not done yet.

For Jord, he falls back a game in Papa Jord’s, as Papa Jord newcomer Scallon and his Pineview Knights break out of the 3-way tie with their fourth consecutive win, this week just narrowly coming bac and beating Jesse and Meet MY Kids 103-101, thanks to 21 points from George Pickens and Jake Ferguson last night. As Jesse falls into a 3-way tie at 5-4 for 2nd place in X-IA with the aforementioned Jack and Drew, Scallon climbs into a one-game lead in Papa Jord’s.

Jord remains hot on Scallon’s heels, but so does Qualley, who would deliver Austin his 4th consecutive loss this week, in a devastating 118-116 defeat. Remember that roller coaster meme about Austin’s teams from a couple years ago? Yeah, that still checks out. Devastating to lose another game, and that close, but mainly devastating because Austin’s Jayden Daniels suffered a brutal dislocated elbow in the Seahawks game, which may knock him out for the remainder of the season, though X-rays were negative, and the exact timetable remains to be announced. Qualley and Austin would even up at 5-4 with Jord, desperately chasing Scallon down.

Making our way to X-IA, we had our wildest finish of the week, Daddy vs Nick, a matchup that only required about 16 points from Dak Prescott to give Nick the comeback victory, and a feat he had accomplished in 5 of 8 games this season, and a feat that he would accomplish last night against the Cardinals, as prior to the very last snap of the Cowboys/Cardinals game last night, Dak had earned 17.9 points, and Nick led by a point. But in a desperation 4th and mile, Dak would throw an interception, and flip the game back to Daddy’s favor, and Nick would lose 76-78, a crushing defeat for Nick and an epic win for Daddy. Father Daddy is keeping the division in play for the rest of the Cul-de-Sack, as Nick’s lead is cut to just a single game, and with Chris’ team sleepwalking their way to victory over my horrendous Breaking Veg 103-85, Daddy and Chris are now just a game back.

Lastly, huge shoutout to the other fellow league returnee Joe, who with the return of the chosen one, Brock Bowers, and a ridonkulous 45.3 points, finally gets to put a one in the W column, putting the hurt on TC 137-104, and ending his 8 game losing streak.


Papa Jord’s closes the gap between them and X-IA, as the CdS is soon to be relegated to the shadow realm.

Drew goes perfect in pick ‘em, as the only picker to believe he had a chance against Jord.

The Commissioner

Week 8 Recap

Highest Scoring Team ($15)
Meet MY Kids
Coach Jesse
155.75 pts

Highest Scoring Player ($7)
The Groovers
Coach Hunt
Jonathan Taylor - 38.9 pts

What a week, huh?! Rivalry Week doesn’t disappoint. We had upsets, beatdowns, and an unprecedented 6-team trade. Let’s kick it off the recap with the trade.

If someone had told me that a 6-way trade happens this year before the season started, I would be completely shocked to learn that Jesse wasn’t the architect. Instead, the mastermind of this trade would need some cajoling. It all started with this stray from Drew:

And the next thing we know, Jord says this:

The trade in question was so big you couldn’t even screenshot it in one grab:

Daddy and Drew fell right away. When Joe finally looked at his phone, he was in.

After sleeping on it for a night, the Commish’ was in too. That left us with Duncan, and despite every expert in the country calling Jefferson for Nacua a downgrade, what they don’t factor in is Duncan’s Vikings blinders taking over, and the final domino fell and the first ever multi-team trade in IFL history was complete, much to the chagrin of the only hater of the trade in the league, TC. Poor guy just hates to be left out.

If Puka stays healthy, Jord will likely run away with the trade, but for now that’s a big if. For now, you just have to tip your cap to the architect, and while we’re at it, his old mentor Jesse, the pioneer of attempted multi-team trades. Now let’s get to the games.

PINEVIEW LEGENDS

Chris took in the shorts following his trade, since Jefferson played Thursday before the trade went through, he got to play neither him nor CeeDee, but it really wouldn’t have mattered, as his squad mustered just 61 points, and Nelson pulled off a major upset, winning 88-61. Nelson climbs to 3-5, into a tie at the bottom of X-IA. Chris remains in 2nd in the CdS.

RICHARD BROS

Prior to the 6-man trade, a trade that will henceforth be referred to as simply “The Trade”, Jord declared he would lose this week if The Trade went through, as his recipients were all bye. But that was not at all the case, as his team would step up all around, including his kicker who scored a twenty deuce and his free agent pickup Troy Franklin, who would score 27. Jord’s 128 points were his second highest all season, and he sailed past little bro Austin, who scored just 92, with an uncharacteristic performance from Bijan - just 4.3 points this week. Austin loses his third straight game and falls to 5-3, opening the door to two other fellow Papa Jord teams, one of whom was Jord himself, who has now won 4 straight games. Jord will hold the important tiebreaker over Austin should it come down to that.

CYCLONES VS HAWKEYES

But another team holds a tiebreaker over both Jord and Austin, and that is none other than Scallon and the Pineview Knights, who just like their beloved Cyclones, handled business against #1 Hawkeye truther TC, 118-104. Scallon climbs to 5-3 as well, and is the de facto division leader, with that double tiebreaker. TC falls to 3-5, and has lost three straight.

JANE’S BASEMENT

Not only did Nick lose to his biggest rival this week 86-105, but he took a major blow to his season, as Cam Skattebo would get knocked out for the season with an ankle injury, putting an end to Skatt’s electric rookie season. The clairvoyant Jord, who traded him to Nick just 16 days prior, does it again. Maybe we’re learning, too late now of course, not to trade with Jord? The man is a GM possessed. Nick falls to 6-2, still two games up in the CdS. Curtis climbs to 3-5.

MOST INTERESTING MEN IN THE WORLD

The Doc, who continues to just find ways to win games, does it again this week against Qualley, 138-103, taking full advantage of Qualley’s two best players being on bye. The Doc’s Tucker Kraft put up 35 the day after National Tight End’s Day, just an unreal performance. Jack climbs to 5-3, trying to stay relevant in X-IA, as Qualley falls out of his three-way tie with Jord and John.

IOWA FALLS TRANSPLANTS

Jesse’s had kind of an up and down season and up again season, and this week it’s WAY up, much like his pubescent hair, as he nearly TRIPLES up Ewoldt this week 155.75-52.13, which is good enough for the 6th highest blowout in IFL history. Drew’s 171.75-57.91 beatdown of Scallon in Week 4 of 2022 still stands the test of time as the biggest ever. Ewoldt’s 52.13 points is also low enough for the 5th lowest score in IFL history, or at least it would have been, as amazingly, Ewoldt did end up outscoring Joe, who could only play 6 players this week, and that was despite Ewoldt’s kicker being declared out prior to MNF. Jesse’s actually averaged the second most points in the league over the last four weeks (126 PPG), only surpassed by Hunt (138 PPG). Jesse climbs to 5-3 with Jack in X-IA, remaining three games back.

BACHELOR PARTY ABSENTEES

Well Drew’s had some embarrassing losses this season, but this one might take the cake. In our pick ‘em poll, just a single man thought Brady could beat Drew this week, and I’m certain Austin only picked Brady accidentally. Brady, who has been plotting his revenge against Drew for a year, imagined the most humiliating way he could beat Drew, by the might of just a single player, and manifested it. James Cook ran for a ridiculous 216 yards, and two tuddies, for 37.6 points, for a comeback victory over Drew 118-111. It doesn’t get more pathetic than that for Drew’s idiotic squad. Drew falls to 4-4 and can pretty much kiss his season goodbye as Brady moves to 3-5 and things are looking up.

FAILED MATHEMATICIANS

Well, despite getting to eat my cake and have it too in the JJets for CeeDee trade and playing both players, my Breaking Veg squad just folded against the best team in the league, getting slammed by Hunt and the Groovers 87-130. Hunt has now won 8 in a row for the second time in his coaching career, the first coach to ever accomplish that in the IFL. Hunt’s squad is the best in every metric we have - all-play, PPG, standard deviation, last four week’s PPG, and it’s all behind the incomparable Jonathan Taylor, who is currently AVERAGING 28 points per game. Ridiculous.

DADDY & THE KID

Well, the pioneering year of our newest rivalry was somewhat ham handed, as Joe could only start 6 of 8 players this week. In solidarity, Daddy benched his kicker, not that it made much of a difference, as Daddy would win 87.02-50.35. Joe’s 50.35 points were the 5th lowest in IFL history. Daddy climbs to 4-4, and being in Papa Jord’s, a division that is very much up for grabs, is looking to get mixy with it in the last 6 weeks of the season. Joe, falls to 0-8, and will look to turn his season around with the expected return of Brock Bowers in Week 9.

X-IA expands their lead to 11 as the CdS continues to embarrass.

Your commish’ goes nuclear in rivalry week pick ‘em, 9 for 10, and expands his lead to 8. Qualley and Jord go a respectable 7 for 10 and 6 for 10, respectively, but catch me if you can, boys!

The Commissioner

Iowa Fantasy League
18 member league

Champions to Date
2024 - Jord
2023 - Nick
2022 - Curtis
2021 - TC
2020 - Jack
2019 - TC
2018 - Drew
2017 - Jack
2016 - Matt
2015 - Zach
2014 - Nick
 

Season Awards
Champion: $445
Runner-Up: $70
3rd Place: $10
Regular Season Champ: $15
Division Winner: $35
Wild Card: $8
Pick 'Em Champ: $25

Weekly Awards
Highest Scoring Team = $15
Highest Scoring Player = $7