Week 3 Recap

Highest Scoring Team ($15)

Brady liked it that way

Coach Joe

135.18 pts

Highest Scoring Player ($7)

The C.T.Express

Coach Austin

Bijan Robinson - 39.3 pts

(Joe’s Jahmyr Gibbs had 41.9 points but you can only win one weekly award per week)

Boy, oh boy, did we have some doozies this week.

Getting right into it, in our Game of the Week, Ewoldt and his Devil’s Duo came out swinging with a customary 36 points from JSN, but both Breece Hall and Travis Etienne would exit their games early, and meanwhile, his opponent, rookie coach Clay AKA YourMomsMailMan would be firing on all cylinders. Everyone but his kicker scored 11+ and four of his players went for 18+. Clay would sail to a 129-109 victory and move to 2-1. Ewoldt, one of four remaining undefeated coaches, falls to 2-1, and at least for the short-term will have to navigate his RB injuries.

While we’re at it, let’s check in with the other 2-0 start coaches. Nick’s autodraft kings Trust the Process would face TC’s Odyssey this week, and despite the Chiefs’ hot start, they didn’t boat race the Dolphins, resulting in Nick’s lowest score of the season. TC, on the other hand, posted his best score of the season, this week led not by JT, but Flores’ ridiculous Vikings defense, who put up 29 points. TC smashes Nick 123-89, climbs to 2-1, as Nick falls to 2-1.

Would the 2-0 Doc and his On-Call Killers fare better? By the time the Doc’s CMC hit the ground running with his 22.6 points, they had built a substantial lead over the 0-2 Brady, but Brady’s Lamar Jackson / Rashod Bateman stack whittled away. Doc; however, had the insurance play of Mark Andrews, and his 5.9 points, kept Brady at bay, and he would hold on, winning 97-95. The On-Call Killers move to 3-0. Like the yin and yang, Brady, is 0-3.

And what of Daddy and his slept on Rehm Team? This week they’d face the 0-2 Hunt, and what a ping pong match these two would have. Daddy would build an early lead, with Christian Watson’s 20 points in TNF, but Hunt came on strong in the late window, with his electric duo of Derrick Henry and Brock Bowers combining for 53 points, Hunt found himself up 22 points. Daddy’s Davante Adams would win the 1v1 against JK Dobbins, and cut the lead to 7 points. And though it wasn’t pretty, the only remaining player for either team, Saquon, would score 10.5 in MNF, to keep the Rehm Team undefeated. And how does Daddy reward his game-winning black stallion Saquon? By sending him off to his death on Drew’s bottom of the barrel team in favor of the white Jesus God quarterback Josh Allen. Hard to blame him, I guess.

There’s a lot to cover, and so I can’t get to it all, but I can’t ever leave you without pointing out Drew lost this week.

Until next time.

CdS has a monster week and takes a share of the lead.

The reigning two-peat Pick Em Champ pulls into the lead, but it’s a long season boys. Don’t count yourself out just yet. :)

[Highlight] Packers fan checking her pulse after Tucker Kraft dropped pass
by u/DrTrigger_Tears in nfl
The Commissioner

Week 2 Recap

Highest Scoring Team ($15)

The Rehm Team

Coach Daddy

141.8 pts

Highest Scoring Player ($7)

OARLING'S DROWNED TRUTH

Coach Drew

Josh Allen - 42.82 pts

I don’t know about you guys, but as good as week 1 felt, week 2 felt off. Wrong, even. Lot of injuries, low-scores, and Drew’s team won. So wrong.

Let’s start with Ewoldt and the Devil's Duo. His Jared Goff throws for 327 yards and 4 touchdowns and my Jameson Williams only gets two catches? That just doesn’t add up, does it? And then his JSN has the gall to put 42.75 points on me? I don’t know if calculating my scores right, you know what I mean? And now Ewoldt’s 2-0? With twins on the way? It just doesn’t make sense.

Or look at Daddy and the Rehm Team. His team is power-ranked 14th and yet they score 141.8 points this week, absolutely massacring Austin and the C.T.Express, the highest point total in the league, and now Daddy’s off to a 2-0 start. He did warn me he might consult his fantasy guru Brittany this year, but how could she know Bryce Young is going to be HIM this year, or that at the age of 33, Davante Adams is going to put up a 40-burger this week? HOW?!

The universe showed it’s cards pretty clearly here when it came to Joe and Brady liked it that way, whose hype around his team couldn’t be higher, not only power-ranked #1, but positioned in just a completely different tier from the rest of the league, and this week he loses Caleb Williams in his game against the Vikings, and without Zay Flowers, he gets absolutely smacked by Chris and Hock Tuah Griddy On It, 138-90. Joe should rebound, as Caleb and Zay could return for week 3 yet, but the gap may have been erased.

And then there’s Hunt, who quietly posted 10+ wins in the last three consecutive seasons (combined record of 31-11), has an all-play record of 3-31 through 2-weeks, and the lowest PPG in the league at 88 PPG thus far. Who beat him this week is not important, but that is just bizarro world, right?

Two things that do make sense? Nick and the Doc are 2-0. Two fellow two-time champs starting off the season undefeated, now that makes sense. Nick’s Trust the Process edged out Nelson this week 95-90, and the Doc, despite losing Jaxson Dart and Malik Nabers to injuries in MNF, had already put enough to beat Jesse in our Game of the Week, winning 98-91. Luckily for Jack, both Dart and Nabers appear to have avoided season-ending injuries.

I don’t know what the rest of the season holds, but let’s go back to the week 1 vibes, am I right?

X-IA extends their lead by a couple games, but the PPG coalesces a bit between all three divisions.

Nick posts a perfect week of pick ‘em, climbing into a share of the lead with the reigning champ.

Just an average QB, by the way.

[Highlight] Brock Purdy gets defender to bite on pump fake, then throws ridiculous ball to Mike Evans
by u/nfl in nfl
The Commissioner

Week 1 Recap

 

Highest Scoring Team ($15)
Brady liked it that way
Coach Joe
137.89 pts

Highest Scoring Player ($7)
Hunt
Coach Hunt
Derrick Henry - 37.3 pts
(Joe’s Caleb Williams had 38.26 points but you can only win one weekly award per week)

Just like that, the IFL’s lucky number 13th season is underway, and the world is right again.

Duncan posts the lowest score in the league, maintaining his brand; your reigning champ, 2-time, Commish’ cruises to an easy 1-0 start, beginning his journey to win back-to-back titles; and Ewoldt begins his signature campaign whereby he starts off 5-0 and finishes the season 6-8. Yeah, everything is back to normal.

Joe’s Brady liked it that way, power-ranked #1, lives up to its preseason hype, posterizing Jord 138-108, led by 102 points between Caleb Williams, Gibbs and Flowers. Jord, who had a respectable 10-7 all-play record this week, just doesn’t have the juice he once he did, and I’m afraid the game may have past him by.

Clay, our rookie coach, thought he had a cakewalk to victory against the real mailman Nelson Monday Night, but Kenneth Walker exploded for 37 points, and Clay ended up losing by 21. Welcome to the big leagues, Clay. 100 points ain’t gonna cut it around these parts, and pretending to be a mailman I believe is a federal crime that sends you straight to Guantanamo…?

Anyway, I’d be remiss if I didn’t mention that Drew lost this week, and the fact that if you don’t count Josh Allen his team only scored 60 points, and the fact that if he wasn’t so hot he would literally have zero worth. Yep! Everything is right in the world.

X-IA looks to get things back on track in 2026, following their last place divisional finish last year.

Jord kicks things off 3 for 4, as all pickers whiff on the Monday Night Question!

[Highlight] Tyler Owens runs over blockers repeatedly to make body slam tackle (replay)
by u/nfl in nfl
The Commissioner

2026 Iowa Fantasy League Invitation

Dear IFL Coach,

A truly historic set of events have taken place in one calendar year. Your commissioner has won his second IFL Superbowl, the Big Brett Christmas Annual Pie Bake Off, and the Riverbend Rally PaddleCross Canoe Race. These unbelievable feats coupled with the discovery of his 4% Norwegian heritage have created an absolute specimen of a human being - Oarling Haaland. In 2026, as he attempts the hat trick, three titles, you’ll be charged to withstand the great force of his mighty canoeing armada, led by the greatest viking to ever live - Oarling.

Here’s the rule changes we’re making for this year:

  • Amendment XXIII:

    Players no longer will have a mandatory 24 hour hold after being dropped. They will go direct to either the next waiver, or free agency, depending on the timing of the drop.

  • Amendment XXIV:

    IR Game-Lock Exceptions: Sleeper locks a player into their roster position once that player’s game begins. This can create situations where a coach is unable to properly use an IR spot because of a late injury designation, or can have their entire roster locked because a player left in an IR spot became active before their game.

    Moving forward, the commissioner may intervene in these situations to recreate a roster move that could have legally been made prior to kickoff.

    If a player is ruled Out within eight hours of his scheduled kickoff and is locked on the coach’s bench when the game begins, the commissioner may allow that player to be treated as if he had been moved from the bench to IR prior to kickoff, including allowing the corresponding roster transaction that the open roster spot would have permitted.

    If the player was ruled Out more than eight hours before kickoff, no IR exception will be granted. It is the coach’s responsibility to make the necessary roster move before the player locks.

    If the inactive player was instead left in the starting lineup, the league’s existing requirement that every owner put forth their best team still applies. As has historically been the case, the commissioner may move an inactive starter to the bench and replace him with an appropriate available player when necessary. However, that player will not also be retroactively moved from the bench to IR under this amendment. The IR game-lock exception is available only to players who were already on the bench when their game began.

    The same protection applies in reverse. If a player becomes active but remains in an IR spot when his game begins, causing Sleeper to lock that player in IR and freeze the coach’s roster, the commissioner may allow the coach to make the roster move necessary to correct the situation rather than forcing them to drop the locked player.

    These exceptions are intended only to work around Sleeper’s game-lock mechanics and cannot be used to gain a competitive advantage or intentionally use an IR spot as an extra roster position. Commissioner discretion will be used in cases where there is reason to believe the situation was intentionally created or exploited.

The buy-in is the same as last year’s, $60. With 18 owners, that now makes the total prize pool $1,080. The 2025 payout structure will be as follows:

Place Awards
Champion = $445
Runner-Up = $70
3rd Place = $10
Division Winner = $35
Wild Card = $8
Season Awards
Pick 'Em Champ = $25
The Bounty = $20
Regular Season Champ = $15

Weekly Awards
Highest Scoring Team = $15
Highest Scoring Player = $7

The draft will start at 6:00 PM on Sunday August 30th.

Godspeed men.

The Commissioner



Superbowl Recap

Highest Scoring Team ($15)
Breaking Veg
Coach Zach
141.03 pts

Highest Scoring Player ($7)
Last Ride
Coach Curtis
Derrick Henry - 50.6 pts

IFL Superbowl Weekend has come and gone. Like we did last week, let’s break it down day by day.

Christmas Day, your Commish’ and the reigning 2024 IFL Champ Jord kicked things off, and Jord’s Javonte Williams started off hot with 54 yards and a touchdown mid-way through the second quarter, while the Commish’s CeeDee Lamb was largely MIA. A pit began to form in my stomach, as it looked like an early Cowboys rout of the Commanders and that meant a monster Javonte game as the Cowboys would just pound the ball with him. But Ol’ Saint Nick had his first Christmas miracle to perform, and Javonte would exit the game with an injury in the second quarter. While CeeDee only finished with 9 points, Javonte’s 13 points were a blessing to Breaking Veg. Kris Kringle’s second miracle that fated day would come in the Broncos game, where not only would Jord’s Troy Franklin be an afterthought for Bo Nix against the Chiefs, RJ Harvey would score the final touchdown of the game to clinch it for the Broncos, a dagger, and give the Commish’ a ten point advantage headed into Saturday.

Saturday Ka’imi kicked just 10 points for Jord, which I chalked up as a win, since he’s been good for 16 and 18 the week before. But to be honest, I wasn’t thinking about fantasy football Saturday. I was thinking about pie. That’s right - the 3rd Annual Big Brett Christmas Pie Contest was Saturday, and as Ellen and I are two-time runner ups, we had our sights set a bit higher this year, and well, we delivered!

Our cookie butter pie, bottom middle in the picture, was legendary and came away with the trophy, despite stiff competition from this year’s runner up - a ruffle milk raspberry. While the victory distracted me from the IFL Superbowl for a moment, a troubling thought entered my mind that night… I surely couldn’t win both the Big Brett Christmas Pie Contest and the IFL Superbowl, right? Had I sealed my fate?

Noon Sunday I was locked in, as 5 of my remaining 6 players kicked off along 2 of Jord’s. Since my final player, the Giants DEF played late afternoon Sunday, and Jord had Caleb Williams in SNF and the Rams DEF and Puka Nakua in MNF, I knew if I had any hope, I’d have to build a substantial lead, and outside of Drake Maye, it wasn’t looking good through the first half. And since Jord hedged against Drake Maye with Hunter Henry, his 33 points didn’t feel as good as it should. Nor did the fact that he got benched in the third quarter. Mike Evans, Trey McBride, and Travis Etienne had a combined ~9 points at halftime. The only thing that helped was that Jord’s Tetairoa McMillan had missing posters hanging up all over Charlotte, NC, and he was catchless at half. But, as has often been the case, my team of second half warriors started to come alive. Trey McBride, garbage time GOAT, his team down three touchdowns, talked his coach into breaking the all-time TE reception record for a single season, and not only would he break it and end the game with 10 receptions, he’d catch a late garbage time touchdown to finish with 25 points. Etienne got enough production to end with 13 and Mike Evans would grab his own tuddy at the final hour of the Dolphins game to pick up a duzzy. All this while Tet would secure just a single grab in the Seahawks game, finishing with 1.25 points. And so, despite the slow start, Breaking Veg was up 72 points. Could that be enough? Against Puka? No, that was not enough. But I had one last card to play - the Giants DEF. While they are only the 24th best DEF on the season fantasy-wise, they played the Raiders this week, and if I could get 10, maybe 15 points out of them, then maybe it’d be enough. A kick return for a touchdown; however, I didn’t count on, and they would finish as the top defense of the week, with 25 points. Alas, with all my ammo spent, I was up 96 points. Okay, that was definitely enough… wasn’t it? I went back and look at Jord’s remaining players, and their best performances this year. Caleb - 39.2 points, Puka 46.0 points, Rams DEF - 20.57 points. It wasn’t enough.

And as SNF kicked off, and the Niners and Bears raced to a 14-14 start in the first quarter, I thought, “my god, it’s happening.” But despite the five touchdowns the Bears would score, two were poached by Deandre Swift, and one from the Bears DEF, which meant that Caleb would finish with just 24 points. Not enough. And finally, up 72 points, with just Puka and the Rams defense left, I began to let myself feel a little bit of hope.

Before MNF, Big Brett gave us this absolute beauty:

And that pretty much sums it up. The Rams, like Jord, would choke, and Puka would finish with just 15 points, and the final tally would be Breaking Veg 141, Yes Chef! 95. Your commissioner is now a two-time IFL Champion, joining the likes of TC and the Doc, and winning it all for the first time since 2015 in Superbowl II. As good as that feels, it feels better to deny Jord from the repeat. To win back-to-back, and on pick 18 of all things, would be an embarrassment to the league, and I feel honored to do my part to stop it from happening. Though it shouldn’t have ever gotten this close. Breaking Veg finish as the highest scoring team in the league this week, the 5th highest scoring team on the season, the highest scoring team weeks 6-17, and outscored the next highest team by 17 PPG over the last 7 weeks. Drake Maye finishes as QB2 on the season, Trey McBride as TE1 (outscoring TE2 by 109 points), and Travis Etienne as RB10. After a disappointing 2-7 start, only to win 5 in a row to just sneak into the playoffs, and to finish on an 8-game winstreak to win it all is legendary. Hats off to my boys.

While the Superbowl went on, and unlike the Superbowl, our other two games of import were nailbiters.

For third place, Qualley and Hunt slugged it out, sluggishly, and Qualley led Hunt by 10 with Hunt having the only remaining player left, Jauan “Jauana Man” Jennings playing in SNF, and he would Jauana Man his way to a clutch victory for Hunt, winning 91-90, and grabbing our regular season champ third place. While third is disappointing for the record setting Groovers, who started the season 10-0, always good to end the season on a high note, and hey, $10 is $10. Qualley, who failed to make his third consecutive Superbowl, will look to make his fourth consecutive playoffs again next year.

The battle for best draft odds of 2026, our Consolation Championship was even more dramatic, as Curtis’ Last Ride would have an epic sendoff weekend, their King Henry scored four touchdowns, ran for 216 yards, and posted FIFTY points on Austin Saturday night, earning him $7 for the week, and propelling him to a 128-77 lead. Austin, had Bijan Robinson and Cody Parkinson left headed into MNF, and down 51 points, needed a Bijan heater to have any hope. And boy, did he get just that. 229 all-purpose yards, and two touchdowns gave him FORTY and a duzzy from Cody Parkinson was just the number he needed to win the Consolation ‘Ship 129-128. Austin repeats as Consolation Champ, winning it last year as well, making him the second-ever Consolation Champ to repeat. He had best draft odds for 2025, and he’ll get best draft odds again for 2026. Curtis, will end his season, and possibly his career, on a loss, but with a career record 101-90, one of only three coaches with 100 wins. He has had two Cul-de-Sack division titles, two wildcard bids, is the 2022 IFL Superbowl IX Champion, and most importantly, is the 4-time overall and 3-Peat Pick ‘Em Champ. He’s had an absolutely legendary career, and if this really is the end, salute to you, my friend. Legend. The Cul-de-Sack won’t be the same without you.

And that’s a wrap on 2025! Thanks for playing the most difficult yet best fantasy football league in the world and see you next year.

Daddy goes for broke, but the Commish’ clutches his second consecutive Pick ‘Em Championship, beating his percentage correct the previous year at by 2%. This year’s consensus picks were down from 61% to 54%. Shoutout to Austin for slipping into second with just 38% accuracy on the year, taking full advantage of the playoff bonus points.

The Commissioner

Semifinals Recap

Highest Scoring Team ($15)
Last Ride
Coach Curtis
149.27 pts

Highest Scoring Player ($7)
Yes Chef!
Coach Jord
Puka Nacua - 46 pts

I mean… you want to talk about just an absolutely unreal week of football… this was the one, boys, and what better time than the semifinals of the IFL playoffs?!

We’re going to break down both semifinal games chronologically, side by side.

Starting with the Rams / Seahawks game on TNF, which was one of the most miraculous comebacks I’ve ever witnessed, Jord and Yes Chef! got off to a HOT start, with Puka putting up 46 points, the league’s best this week, and a respectable 10 points from the Rams DEF, Jord’s projection over Hunt’s Groovers certainly spiked. On the other side of the bracket, Qualley and his DSM Football Team hit JSN’s projection almost exactly, 23.6 points, and the Commish’ and Breaking Veg could neither raise nor lower their expectations, and their odds to win this game remained 50/50.

Saturday brought us just one more player into the mix from the semi’s, and that was Qualley’s Jalen Hurts, whose 19.9 points was just a couple points shy of his projections, and Qualley was out to a 43.5 point lead.

The noon games Sunday kicked off, and Mike Evans wasted no time scoring a touchdown for Breaking Veg, but was relatively quiet the rest of the window, and CeeDee Lamb had his worst game of the season, but thankfully for the Commish’, Qualley’s Tony Pollard and Chris Godwin were kept from the endzone. McLaughlin putting up 10 points didn’t feel good though. End of noon games: Qualley 72.45 - Commish’ 24.45. Jord pitched Javonte Williams, Tet McMillan and made the bold move to start waiver pickup Audric Estime over Troy Franklin (bad choice), and only McMillan produced. Meanwhile, Hunt began to chip away, as Harold Fannin and De’Von Achane both put up double digits, and Badgley and the Bucs DEF added another dozen. End of noon games: Jord 88.02 - Hunt 49.01.

In the late afternoon slot, Jord made another mistake, starting Jacoby Brissett over Caleb Williams, but Ka’imi Fairbairn’s 16 points bailed him out somewhat, while Hunt’s Bo Nix and Courtland Sutton continued to chip away and Jord’s lead. End of late afternoon slate: Jord 114.14 - Hunt 83.79. For my part, I was pretty nervous about the late afternoon games, as Etienne and Harvey are unreliable as it gets, but Trey McBride, TE1 on the season, is ol’ reliable and maybe, just maybe, he could keep pace with Qualley’s Sun God. Trey McBride, like CeeDee, would also have his worst game of the season, but as fate would have it, so would the Sun God. While the Texans DEF turned in 16 for Qualley, Etienne and Harvey would turn in big second halves, and the Commish’ would make up some ground. End of late afternoon slate: Qualley 97.88 - Commish’ 69.85.

Sunday Night Football is where it would all come together for Breaking Veg, though, as the New England Patriots and future NFL MVP and current Breaking Veg MVP Drake “Drake Maye” Maye would just not go away. Despite two fumbles and an interception, the stud would throw for 380 yards and two touchdown and rush for 25 yards, all good for 22.2 points and Andy “the Real Drew” Borregales would put up 10 points. All this while Qualley had to sweat the decision of starting Mark Andrews, whose 5.4 points, were offered in Brenton Strange’s stead, who had put up 15.4 points earlier in the day. Despite Qualley’s efforts, the Commish’ had cut it to one, and while I still had the Niners DEF, Qualley’s roster was spent. End of SNF: Qualley 103.28 - Commish’ 102.05.

Monday Night Football brought us old man Rivers and the Colts against the greatest quarterback the state of Iowa has ever produced, Brock Purdy and the Niners. While the Commish’ was on easy street, needing just one point, Jord was sweating, though he was up 31 points with Tyler Warren yet to play, Hunt had 2025’s RB2, Jonathan Taylor, and steady eddy Jauan Jennings, who had scored a touchdown in five of his last six games.

Prior to kickoff, Jord was stress baking and trying to frantically google his way out of his predicament:

Qualley, though all hope was lost, still was desperate to point a finger, and went down his own google rabbit hole:

The first quarter of MNF took me by surprise, and not in a good way, as the Niners gave up back to back touchdowns to the Colts, and my points began to fall, but luckily for Jord, none of that production added much of anything to Hunt’s score, just 46 yards from JT, and he would add another 20 yards in quarter two, but Jauan Jennings would gooseegg in the first half, so all things considered, Jord was sitting pretty, despite Tyler Warren not being spotted in Indianapolis before or during the game. But Jauan would immediately make things interesting in the second half, catching a touchdown pass four minutes in, and gather in two more catches for a quick 11 points in the third. JT would turn in 31 more yards, and at the end of the third, Jord was up just 7 points. For my sake, the Niners would pick six ol’ man Rivers, and put the nail in the coffin for Qualley, giving him some bittersweet relief for his Mark Andrews debacle. Jord would get some ammunition, at long last, from Warren who reeled in two of his three catches for the night to start the 4th, and those 4.7 points bought him some more time as Hunt’s Jauan “Jauana Man” Jennings and JT would continue to chip away until at 6:13 in the 4th, a 5 yard run from JT would put Hunt down just 0.6 points. But luckily for Jord, the game would get away from the Colts, and Niners would go full-on run the clock mode, shutting down Jauan, and the Colts would bench their starters, meaning Jord would hold on to his lead and return to back-to-back Superbowls, the first coach to do so since Qualley in ‘22/’23, to defend his title against your Commish’. I have to say, it feels good to be going to back to the Big One. It’s been a long, cold eight years, and after starting the season 2-7, to win seven straight to get this point, is quite a journey, and speaks volumes to levels of never quitting my team has.

Shoutout to Qualley, who has now made the semifinals or better for three consecutive years, and for three consecutive years, has fallen short. Shoutout to Hunt, who has now twice been regular season champ with historically great teams, and twice fallen short. See you in the Superbowl, Jord.

Alas, that’s not all! This week also brought us the IFL Losership, and our IFL Loser of the Year. Huzzah! TC and Ewoldt, the worst of the worst, met in the sewers in their race to the filthy bottom, and low and behold, TC came out ahead, winning 102-82. Ewoldt, is 2025’s IFL Loser of the Year, after starting the season 2-0, his hype characteristically left the room, and he finished 3-9, with a league worst 89 PPG. Better luck next year, pal.

On the other side of the coin, Brady and Aaron met for the Super Consolation ‘Ship and Brady would win handily 96-70, thanks to another ridiculous performance from James Cook. Brady gets second best draft odds for 2025, after narrowly avoiding Ewoldt’s fate. Look out for Brady and his bucks in ‘26.

Merry Christmas, coaches. Stay tuned for pick ‘em polls tomorrow!

Daddy and Chris go 4 for 5 this week, taking advantage of the big bonuses, and Daddy leapfrogs the Pickers Consensus and Jord. With 20 possible points next week, he’s within striking distance of the Commish’.

The Commissioner

Quarterfinals Recap

Highest Scoring Team ($15)
No Nonsense Nelson
Coach Aaron
153.18 pts

Highest Scoring Player ($7)
Des Moines Football Team
Coach Qualley
Amon-Ra St. Brown - 41.65 pts
(Aaron’s Kyle Pitts scored 48.1 points this week but cannot win both weekly awards.)

What a spicy opener to the playoffs! Kicking it off with our regular season champ, Hunt, and his opponent of choice Jesse, it was a nailbiter till the end. Jesse had a big start with his Jags kicker / DST combo putting up 28 points and Dallas Goedert another 26.5 pts, but was quelled by his Justin Herbert & McConkey stack only combining for 12.9 pts. Jesse also was fortunate to have a quiet 14.6 points from Hunt’s MVP Jonathan Taylor, but even worse for him was that his MVP Jahmyr Gibbs had his worst outing of the season, just 8.3 pts. Going into Monday, Hunt was down just 13 points, with only Achane left to play, a point total he had only failed to hurdle once this season, and while it took every minute of MNF to get there, he did, and Hunt’s Groovers won 104-99, sending Hunt to the semifinals and Jesse and his kids back to whatever sick planet they came from. Hunt took full advantage of his #1 seed too, as his opponent of choice for the opener was the only team of the four he would have beat. 200 IQ stuff right there.

Scallon and his Pineview Knights made more of a 10 IQ choice, selecting the Commish’ SPICEY BBQ HOT Breaking Veg, who not only had scored the most points in the league over the last four weeks, but would come to BALL on Sunday, kicking off the noon games with a twenty deuce from Drake Maye, a thirty burger from Etienne, and a FOURTY NUKE from TE1 Trey McBride. The Pineview Knights, meanwhile, seemed to be sleepwalking through their quarterfinal matchup, posting a season low 73.33 points. I’m not sure that this is consolation for Scallon, but he would have lost to any of the seeds he could have picked, as he scored the least in the championship playoffs, and least in the league this week. Hats off to him for having the balls to draft CMC this year, after his injury plagued season last year, and seeing that through to a division championship.

The other game on the right side of the bracket, was a touch closer, that was until Qualley’s Amon-Ra St. Brown revealed his true SUN GOD form, and put up 41.65 points, and making Nick’s comeback a daunting one, but not impossible, if Dak and Waddle had big games in SNF and MNF. That was; however, not to be, as they combined for just 17 points, and Qualley would win 136-105, sending the Cul-de-Sack champ into the offseason. The #7 DSM Football Team, PPG-bid numero uno, will face the commish’s Breaking Veg in the semi’s next week.

Well, I saved the best for last, and truly, so much happened in the Jord v Drew matchup that I’m certain details will be lost to history, but I’ll do my best. The interesting foil in the early phase of the matchup was that all but Drew’s RB1 Brandon Aubrey played in the noon games, so the scale was tipped early and often, and for nearly two hours, things were looking DIRE for Drew. The Patriots were dominating Josh Allen and the only one scoring any points at all for Zach’s Barn of Horrors was Zay Flowers. Meawhile Jord’s Caleb Williams and McMillan were putting up an average 18 points and mediocre 4.5 points respectively. But after commissioning his father, Rick, to give his team a legendary butt-chewing at halftime, Drew’s team either balked or nutted up, and mostly balked, but Josh Allen strung together twenty points in the final two quarters, and got him to about 89 points. Jord and Yes Chef! then had a roller coaster of their own in the late slate of games, as his mostly Rams roster were in a shootout against the Lions, which helped him in terms of Puka and Davante, but hurt the Rams DST, who finished with just 4 points for him. But more dramatic than that, Davante would exit the game early in the fourth quarter, after scoring just 12.1 points, and almost immediately after that Puka left the game with an injury as well. And that put a pit in Jord’s stomach, as he realized that even if he wins this game against Drew, he may lose the war. Hope was not totally lost; however, as Puka would return to the game seemingly completely fine, and finish with 189 scrimmage yards, good for 29.65 points. Not pictured, in that Rams game, was the gift I gave Jord of Ka’imi Fairbairn, who posted 17.75 points for him as well, and that gave Jord a 91.86-89.05 lead heading into the Drew v Jord finale that was SNF. Left to play for Jord was Javonte Williams, RB9 on the season, and averaging 14.9 points. For Drew, Brandon Aubrey, K2 on the season, averaging 11.1 PPG. Jord had a dream start, as Javonte would rush for a touchdown halfway through the first, putting him up 7 points immediately, but that almost just as instantly turned into a nightmare, as Javonte hurt his should on the touchdown, leaving the game, and was questionable to return. Aubrey would kick another extra point in the 2nd quarter, and with 6 minutes left, would line up for another automatic 50+ yarder, his millionth of the season, and wait…. what what this? WIDE RIGHT. Instead of 5 points for the make, he loses 0.25 points. He does drill a 37 yarder before the half to cut the lead to just 3 points; and Jord is mentally onto next season, as Javonte hasn’t been seen in Dallas since the fourth. But like Gandalf after his battle in the Mines of Moria, Javonte would return for the second half, and put up 4 more points in the 3rd quarter, while Aubrey hit two more field goals, adding 7 points, and putting the game at basically a tie. Aubrey opened the fourth with a 59-yard attempt, that would possibly seal the game for Drew, and…… unfathomably, he would MISS AGAIN, wide right. Javonte would put away 53 rush yards in the 4th, and hold the lead for Jord, winning 110-106. Our 2024 IFL Champ is moving onto the semifinals, where he’ll face this year’s regular season champ Hunt. Drew, whose team was always bad, I mean, we all knew that after his ridiculous bot-draft, finally ends his charade, relegated to an offseason of misery, what’s he’s always deserved.

Lots of doings in the Consolation and Super Consolation bracket, which I don’t have time to get into today, but will preview the Super Consolation ‘Ship and Toilet Bowl Losership tomorrow, though I would like to shoutout TC for getting SMOKED by his landlord Aaron, just like his Hawkeyes pretty much every time he turns around.

Playoff pick ‘em brings bonus points but no movement at the top. Nick has the best week of anyone, climbing a few spots. The points continue to ramp up as the playoff race continues!

The Commissioner

Week 14 Recap

Highest Scoring Team ($15)
Zach’s Barn of Horrors
Coach Drew
141.81 pts

Highest Scoring Player ($7)
ALL-TIME D
Coach Brady
Michael Wilson - 37.95 pts
(Drew’s Josh Allen had 39.34 points but cannot win both weekly awards.)

6 playoff spots up for grabs, including a division title, in the final week of the regular season, let’s dive right in.

The remaining division title, Cul-de-Sack, effectively came down to Curtis and Nick. Curtis needed to win this week, and Nick to lose, and Curtis did his job against Chris, besting him 88-67, and things were looking REALLY good for him, as Qualley was down just 12 points to Nick headed into last night’s game with just Jalen Hurts yet to play, who had only posted a sub-12 point performance ONCE ALL SEASON. But Chargers v Eagles in MNF was one for the sickos, and Jalen Hurts would turn the ball over FIVE TIMES, including twice on the same play. You literally can’t make this stuff up. Jalen Hurts finishes with a -4.6 point stat line and Nick wins 101-85, clinching his second division title in three years, and 4th all-time, tying Zach for most in the CdS, and his 6th playoff bid in 12 seasons. Nick grabs the 3rd seed in the playoffs. Congrats brother, and condolences to Curtis. Curtis falls to 9th, top seed in the consolation bracket.

Speaking of the consolation bracket, a quick explainer. Since we have 18 teams now, we’ll be going back to the three playoff system. 8 teams make the championship playoffs. 6 teams make the consolation playoffs (top 2 seeds get a bye), and 4 teams make the super consolation playoffs. Consolation playoffs, you win it all, and you get best draft odds for 2026, lose and your season is done. Super consolation playoffs, win twice and you get second best draft odds for 2026. Lose twice and you are our 2025 WORST COACH OF THE YEAR.

Okay, back to the action. Next up, Drew, who controlled his destiny, with a win and in game against Father Daddy, did exactly that. Actually, he went above and beyond, SPANKING Daddy 142-79, thanks to a ridiculous near 40-burger from Josh Allen, and 23 points from Brandon Aubrey. It turns out Pope Father Daddy was not the man for job at Zach’s Barn of Horrors. At 9-5, Drew’s win clinched him the 4-seed for the playoffs, with his 3rd ever wildcard bid, and 9th playoff bid in 12 seasons, most by any coach in the league. The dumbest fact in the IFL. Daddy’s third straight loss puts him at 6-8 for the his return to the league, a respectable first season back, and places him in the middle of the consolation playoffs.

Then, probably the most consequential game of the week, Jesse v Jack, the winner of the which automatically made the playoffs, loser of which had to cross their fingers for a PPG bid, was a great start for Jack on TNF, as David Montgomery and Jake Bates both exceeded their projections, except for the fact that Jesse’s Jahmyr Gibbs went nuclear with three touchdowns, posting 35.5 points. Outside of Josh Jacobs, the rest of Jack’s team laid a gooseegg and by the time Monday morning rolled around, Jesse needed 30 points from four players to beat Jack and cement his playoff standing. It took nearly until the 4th quarter, but it did happen and then some, and Jesse would win 113-95. Jesse clinches the 5th seed as a wildcard, his second, and 4th playoff bid all-time.

Jord, whose team is clearly adrift at sea without a captain, a team whose captain is busy living it up in Mexico, did what you might expect, and lost their win and in game against Joe this week, 104-116, but as fate would have it, all the other 7-win teams would lose, leaving Jord as the lone 8-win at large team, and he would lose his way into the third and final wildcard bid, the 6th seed. It’s Jord’s 4th wildcard bid and 8th playoff appearance, second most by any coach. The win for Joe, his third in a row, is also huge, as he holds all the right head-to-head wins to make him the lone 5-win team to avoid the Super Consolation / Tournament to Not Be Last bracket and just sneak into the Consolation Playoffs.

The remaining two playoff seeds are earned by the two highest scoring teams on the season that have yet to earn a playoff bid, and the first of which was conferred to Qualley and the Des Moines Football Team, as despite their aforementioned blunder against Nick this week, Qualley’s 112 PPG on the season is still the 4th highest in the league, and places him as the 7-seed in the playoffs. It’s Qualley’s first PPG-bid, and his 4th playoff bid in his six seasons, an impressive ratio.

Jesse’s win was consequential for your commish’, as it meant that with a win of my own, against Austin this week, my Breaking Veg would make the playoffs as the final PPG-bid and despite the possibly intentional sleeper agent implosion of having to start a Tyrod Taylor who was knocked out of the game with a final stat line of -2.76 points, the boys rallied, standing on business, and beating Austin 110-73, dashing Austin’s remaining playoff hopes. Your commish’ will earn a PPG-bid for the 3rd straight year, and his 7th playoff bid. Austin will fall to the 2-seed in the consolation playoffs, where he’ll have a bye.

The seeds are set. For the championship playoffs, beginning with our top seed The Groovers, our regular season champ and X-IA champ and coach Hunt, picked #5 Meet My Kids and coach Jesse for his opener. Our 2-seed, the Papa Jord’s champ Pineview Knights and Coach Scallon selected #8 Breaking Veg, and our 3-seed the Cul-de-Sack champ Alexa, Draft My Team and Coach Nick, chose #7 DSM Football Team and coach Qualley, leaving #4 seed Drew to play #6 seed Yes Chef!.

Good luck, gentlemen! Here’s all three playoff brackets below.

Bounty Brawl

The $20 bounty goes to your commish’ this year! Here’s the season long trajectory.

Jack earns the bounty week 1, scoring least points in the league, who carries it to week 3, where he loses it to Daddy.

Daddy carries it to week 5, where TC takes it off his hands.

TC loses it the very next week to Nick.

Nick holds it to rivalry week, where he loses it to hated rival Curtis.

Curtis holds it to week 11, where TC once again picks it up!

But lo-and-behold, your commish’ claims it in week 12, in the middle of his heater, and as were to win out, earns the $20 bounty all for himself.

Thanks for playing, gents!

X-IA gives it their all in Week 14, but alas, the top IFL division for 2025 is Papa Jord’s!, their fifth year as top dog, breaking their tie with the Cul-de-Sack, officially making them the most dominant division in the league. This is the 3rd time in 4 years they’ve finished as top division, and they take the crown from X-IA, 2024’s top division.

The Commish’ goes 6 for 7 to extend his lead, while Jesse hits 5 for 7 to possibly begin his totally possible epic comeback? Bonus points start this week for the playoffs, so plenty of time to make a move.

The Commissioner

Week 13 Recap

Highest Scoring Team ($15)
Breaking Veg
Coach Zach
143.72 pts

Highest Scoring Player ($7)
No Nonsense Nelson
Coach Aaron (2nd time this season)
AJ Brown - 35.2 pts

CURRENT PLAYOFF STANDINGS

  1. Hunt’s Groovers (11-2) [X-IA CHAMP] *Clinched Playoffs

  2. John’s Pineview Knights (9-4) [PJ CHAMP] *Clinched Playoffs

  3. Nick’s Alexa, Draft My Team (7-6) [CdS Leader]

  4. Drew’s Zach’s Barn of Horrors (8-5) [Wildcard Leader - 114 PPG] X-IA

  5. Jesse’s Meet MY Kids (8-5) [Wildcard Leader - 110 PPG] X-IA

  6. Jord’s Yes Chef! (8-5) [Wildcard Leader - 109 PPG] PJ

  7. Qualley’s Des Moines Football Team (6-7) [PPG Leader - 114 PPG] PJ

  8. Zach’s Breaking Veg (6-7) [PPG Leader - 106 PPG] CdS

bubble teams (BY RECORD)

  1. Austin’s Basically Iowa State (7-6) [104 PPG] PJ

  2. Jack’s Pronto Stache (7-6) [101 PPG] X-IA

bubble teams (BY PPG)

  1. Austin’s Basically Iowa State (7-6) [104 PPG] PJ

  2. Jack’s Pronto Stache (7-6) [101 PPG] X-IA

  3. Daddy’s Father Daddy (6-7) [101 PPG] PJ

  4. Joe’s Last Seen at Brady’s (4-9) [100 PPG] CdS

A candid photo of the IFL Commissioner analyzing the playoff seeding possibilities. 12/2/2025

Let’s go, boys! The penultimate week of the regular season did NOT disappoint. Let’s get right into it.

Did I will one of the biggest upsets of the year into existence? Yes. With a pair of clutch performances from James Cook and Jameson Williams, and 6.4 points from Theo Johnson in MNF, the 15th power-ranked team in the league and their unlikely coach Brady, upset the big kahuna and reigning IFL champ Jord, whose team posts their first sub-100 point game since Week 7. Brady clutches it 95-91 and while his playoff hopes are long gone, he snaps Jord’s 3-game winstreak and turns of Jord’s smooth sailing to the playoffs.

The loss not only puts Jord’s wildcard bid in jeopardy, but gave Scallon the automatic clinch of the Papa Jord’s division, despite his insanely close loss to Curtis this week, 90.04 - 90.56. Congrats Scallon! First year in Papa Jord’s and he’s the division champ. It’s only Scallon’s second-ever division title, winning the now the former Boy Scout Cyclone division back in 2019. He’s also locked up the 2-seed in the playoffs, giving him second choice of opponent for the opening round.

The win for Curtis is also important, as Cul-de-Sack leader Nick would lose again this week, to Ewoldt 101-111, putting him a game back in the division. The commish’ would beat Daddy in a kind of coming out party for his dark horse team despite Daddy putting up the 4th most points this week, 144-117, putting Breaking Veg also a game back in the CdS; AND Chris would lose to Joe 98-122, meaning he remains a game back in the CdS as well. Incredibly, Chris and Curtis play each other in Week 14, meaning that there’s a scenario in which 3 of those 4 coaches (Nick, Chris, Curtis and Commish’) all end up 7-7 to finish the season. If Curtis is one of those teams, he’ll clinch the division as he would have beaten all the teams in question. Of course, if Nick beats Qualley in Week 14, he’ll clinch automatically. The loss for the aforementioned Daddy and Chris eliminate them from traditional playoff contention via wildcard, but they can still technically get in via PPG, though that is admittedly a longshot.

Drew’s dumb team won this week, beating Nelson 122-106, as did Jesse, who won a low-scoring affair against Qualley 91-69. Both Drew and Jesse climb to 8-5, tied with Jord, and the three of them all would currently grab a wildcard bid for the playoffs. A win next week for any of them would mean a clinch. A loss for any of them, particularly a low-scoring loss; however, would put their fates in some jeopardy, as Austin, who won his second straight game, this week against Hunt 95-89 on the back of a pure heart performance from Marcus Mariota, and Jack, who lost this week to TC 72-82, sit a game back at 7-6, but both hold some crucial tiebreakers over our three 8-win coaches. Jack beat Drew; for example, never played Jord, and plays Jesse in Week 14, so a win over Jesse would automatically place him as a wildcard. Austin beat Jack & Drew, lost to Jord, and never played Jesse, so a win and a couple of losses from the right coaches could put him in as well.

Of course a high scoring loss bodes well for all of the 8-win coaches, as they currently sit above my Breaking Veg in PPG, as the current de facto PPG-bid 8-seed for the playoffs.

Last year at this time, four of our eight playoff teams were clinched, this year, just two are determined. 6 spots still up for grabs, and 12 teams vying for them. It doesn’t get any better than this!

A bounceback week for CdS digs themselves out of their hole a bit, but with one week to go it’s too little too late. X-IA tightens things up as Papa Jord’s has their worst week in a minute. They’ll have the edge for the final week, but could certainly be leap frogged.

A tough week of pick ‘em for everyone but Daddy, who goes 3 for 4 and climbs into 5th.

The Commissioner

Week 12 Recap

Highest Scoring Team ($15)
Yes Chef!
Coach Jord (2nd time this season)
138.32 pts

Highest Scoring Player ($7)
Meet MY Kids
Coach Jesse (2nd time this season)
Jahmyr Gibbs - 53.4 pts (2nd time this season)

CURRENT PLAYOFF STANDINGS

  1. Hunt’s Groovers (11-1) [X-IA CHAMP] *Clinched Playoffs

  2. John’s Pineview Knights (9-3) [PJ Leader] *Clinched Playoffs

  3. Nick’s Alexa, Draft My Team (7-5) [CdS Leader]

  4. Jord’s Yes Chef! (8-4) [Wildcard Leader] PJ

  5. Drew’s Zach’s Barn of Horrors (7-5) [Wildcard Leader] X-IA

  6. Jack’s Pronto Stache (7-5) [Wildcard Leader] X-IA

  7. Qualley’s Des Moines Football Team (6-6) [PPG Leader - 118 PPG] PJ

  8. Jesse’s Meet MY Kids (7-5) [PPG Leader - 112 PPG] X-IA

bubble teams (BY RECORD)

  1. Daddy’s Father Daddy (6-6) [100 PPG] PJ

  2. Austin’s Basically Iowa State (6-6) [104 PPG] PJ

  3. Chris’ Can’t Bench These Vibes (6-6) [97 PPG] CdS

  4. Curtis’ Last Ride (5-7) [96 PPG] CdS

bubble teams (BY PPG)

  1. Austin’s Basically Iowa State (6-6) [104 PPG] PJ

  2. Zach’s Breaking Veg (5-7) [103 PPG] CdS

  3. Daddy’s Father Daddy (6-6) [100 PPG] PJ

  4. Joe’s Last Seen at Brady’s (3-9) [99 PPG] CdS

Our Game of the Week was as spicey as advertised, and my favorite possible outcome, Drew losing an excruciating Monday Night Football 1v1 came to fruition as Rico Dowdle diddled his way to just 10.9 points, which was quite easily lapped by the Pineview Knights captain, Sir Christian McCaffrey, whose 27.2 points led the Knights to a 113-109 comeback win. CMC has now scored 20+ points in 10 out of 12 games this season, and at least temporarily, usurps Jonathan Taylor as the scoring leader for the season. The 49ers have their bye Week 14, so JT will get a chance to take back his crown, but down 15 points on the season, it’s going to be a tight race. With his 7th consecutive win, Scallon has officially clinched, at minimum, a wildcard spot in the playoffs. Even with the loss, Drew currently still sits as the 5 seed in the playoffs, were the season to end today. But with two weeks to go, and a vicious pack of teams on his heels, he can just as easily choke this away.

Our other dramatic finish last night was a bizarre kind of Power Rangers fever dream. Jesse’s Blue Ranger, Jahmyr Gibbs scored a truly incredible 53.4 points, surpassing Jonathan Taylor’s 52.1 points from just two weeks ago, for the highest individual point total of the season, and the 7th highest score in IFL history (as scored at the time). But with three byes to contend with, that was the bulk of Jesse’s scoring, and Brady refused to go away, putting up considerable points in the late window Sunday, and finishing his day with a 4 point lead. Jesse scrambled to roster Xavier Legette, who had yet to be rostered by any team all season, due to his truly unreliable nature, and it was looking grim, after nearly 3 quarters, Xavier had yet to field a catch. But late in the third, he brought in his first, and would receive four more in the 4th, to JUST get it done for his likely one and only start this season. Jesse would pull off the comeback and beat Brady 117-116, not allowing Gibbs’ herculean effort to go in vain.

Our third and final nailbiter this week, the meeting of two 6-5 coaches, Jack and Chris was over Sunday night, as Chris led by 10 going into that game, while Jack relied on the sporatic rookie Tez Johnson who was able to get it done with a TD against the Rams, and Jack would clinch it 101-99. Even though Jack and Jesse still share the same record, as they did last week, their current playoff seeds flip this week, as the tiebreakers with Daddy and Chris favored Jesse, but without them, Jack takes the advantage. So as of right now, Jack would take the 6-seed on record, the final wildcard, and Jesse would get in on PPG, as the 8-seed. Jack and Jesse will play in Week 14, the final week of the regular season, in a matchup that will certainly determine their playoff fates. The loss for Chris bumps him down a spot in the bubble teams who are on the outside looking in, but at just a game back from wildcard, and two weeks to go, things could just as easily flip.

One team that changed their trajectory and fate for the season this week - Austin and Basically Iowa State. After starting off the season 5-0, and following that up with a 6 game losing streak, coach Austin finally got his team to snap out of it, and put the hurt on Nick 111-85. Austin evens back up at 6-6, and keeps himself in the bubble conversation, both by record and PPG, a great place to be there if he decides to win out. And if I know anything about his teams, if there’s one win, there’s more to follow.

After 5 weeks, I thought it’d be fun to check in on the historic 6-way trade, and see how things are stacking up. Here’s all 6 teams and the points accrued by each player post-trade:

While total points is not the best way to evaluate trades, one should probably look at points above or below player being replaced, that’s too much detail for me to look at right now, so this is the best we have. I’m also assigning arbitrary points to the FAAB here as well. But I think it’s fair to say even with the injury to Brian Thomas Jr., Daddy is not upset at all with his end of it. George Kittle and Chase Brown have done nothing but PRODUCE, while CeeDee has been pretty average in that time. We’ll check in again end of season, but just thought it was fun to take a look.

Two weeks to go boys!

Papa Jord’s took over the lead last week, and this week extends it to 37 games! The CdS continues to flounder.

Your commish’ adds to his lead in another 3 for 4 week.

The Commissioner

Iowa Fantasy League
18 member league

Champions to Date
2024 - Jord
2023 - Nick
2022 - Curtis
2021 - TC
2020 - Jack
2019 - TC
2018 - Drew
2017 - Jack
2016 - Matt
2015 - Zach
2014 - Nick
 

Season Awards
Champion: $445
Runner-Up: $70
3rd Place: $10
Regular Season Champ: $15
Division Winner: $35
Wild Card: $8
Pick 'Em Champ: $25

Weekly Awards
Highest Scoring Team = $15
Highest Scoring Player = $7