Highest Scoring Team ($15)
Zach’s Barn of Horrors
Coach Drew
141.81 pts
Highest Scoring Player ($7)
ALL-TIME D
Coach Brady
Michael Wilson - 37.95 pts
(Drew’s Josh Allen had 39.34 points but cannot win both weekly awards.)
6 playoff spots up for grabs, including a division title, in the final week of the regular season, let’s dive right in.
The remaining division title, Cul-de-Sack, effectively came down to Curtis and Nick. Curtis needed to win this week, and Nick to lose, and Curtis did his job against Chris, besting him 88-67, and things were looking REALLY good for him, as Qualley was down just 12 points to Nick headed into last night’s game with just Jalen Hurts yet to play, who had only posted a sub-12 point performance ONCE ALL SEASON. But Chargers v Eagles in MNF was one for the sickos, and Jalen Hurts would turn the ball over FIVE TIMES, including twice on the same play. You literally can’t make this stuff up. Jalen Hurts finishes with a -4.6 point stat line and Nick wins 101-85, clinching his second division title in three years, and 4th all-time, tying Zach for most in the CdS, and his 6th playoff bid in 12 seasons. Nick grabs the 3rd seed in the playoffs. Congrats brother, and condolences to Curtis. Curtis falls to 9th, top seed in the consolation bracket.
Speaking of the consolation bracket, a quick explainer. Since we have 18 teams now, we’ll be going back to the three playoff system. 8 teams make the championship playoffs. 6 teams make the consolation playoffs (top 2 seeds get a bye), and 4 teams make the super consolation playoffs. Consolation playoffs, you win it all, and you get best draft odds for 2026, lose and your season is done. Super consolation playoffs, win twice and you get second best draft odds for 2026. Lose twice and you are our 2025 WORST COACH OF THE YEAR.
Okay, back to the action. Next up, Drew, who controlled his destiny, with a win and in game against Father Daddy, did exactly that. Actually, he went above and beyond, SPANKING Daddy 142-79, thanks to a ridiculous near 40-burger from Josh Allen, and 23 points from Brandon Aubrey. It turns out Pope Father Daddy was not the man for job at Zach’s Barn of Horrors. At 9-5, Drew’s win clinched him the 4-seed for the playoffs, with his 3rd ever wildcard bid, and 9th playoff bid in 12 seasons, most by any coach in the league. The dumbest fact in the IFL. Daddy’s third straight loss puts him at 6-8 for the his return to the league, a respectable first season back, and places him in the middle of the consolation playoffs.
Then, probably the most consequential game of the week, Jesse v Jack, the winner of the which automatically made the playoffs, loser of which had to cross their fingers for a PPG bid, was a great start for Jack on TNF, as David Montgomery and Jake Bates both exceeded their projections, except for the fact that Jesse’s Jahmyr Gibbs went nuclear with three touchdowns, posting 35.5 points. Outside of Josh Jacobs, the rest of Jack’s team laid a gooseegg and by the time Monday morning rolled around, Jesse needed 30 points from four players to beat Jack and cement his playoff standing. It took nearly until the 4th quarter, but it did happen and then some, and Jesse would win 113-95. Jesse clinches the 5th seed as a wildcard, his second, and 4th playoff bid all-time.
Jord, whose team is clearly adrift at sea without a captain, a team whose captain is busy living it up in Mexico, did what you might expect, and lost their win and in game against Joe this week, 104-116, but as fate would have it, all the other 7-win teams would lose, leaving Jord as the lone 8-win at large team, and he would lose his way into the third and final wildcard bid, the 6th seed. It’s Jord’s 4th wildcard bid and 8th playoff appearance, second most by any coach. The win for Joe, his third in a row, is also huge, as he holds all the right head-to-head wins to make him the lone 5-win team to avoid the Super Consolation / Tournament to Not Be Last bracket and just sneak into the Consolation Playoffs.
The remaining two playoff seeds are earned by the two highest scoring teams on the season that have yet to earn a playoff bid, and the first of which was conferred to Qualley and the Des Moines Football Team, as despite their aforementioned blunder against Nick this week, Qualley’s 112 PPG on the season is still the 4th highest in the league, and places him as the 7-seed in the playoffs. It’s Qualley’s first PPG-bid, and his 4th playoff bid in his six seasons, an impressive ratio.
Jesse’s win was consequential for your commish’, as it meant that with a win of my own, against Austin this week, my Breaking Veg would make the playoffs as the final PPG-bid and despite the possibly intentional sleeper agent implosion of having to start a Tyrod Taylor who was knocked out of the game with a final stat line of -2.76 points, the boys rallied, standing on business, and beating Austin 110-73, dashing Austin’s remaining playoff hopes. Your commish’ will earn a PPG-bid for the 3rd straight year, and his 7th playoff bid. Austin will fall to the 2-seed in the consolation playoffs, where he’ll have a bye.
The seeds are set. For the championship playoffs, beginning with our top seed The Groovers, our regular season champ and X-IA champ and coach Hunt, picked #5 Meet My Kids and coach Jesse for his opener. Our 2-seed, the Papa Jord’s champ Pineview Knights and Coach Scallon selected #8 Breaking Veg, and our 3-seed the Cul-de-Sack champ Alexa, Draft My Team and Coach Nick, chose #7 DSM Football Team and coach Qualley, leaving #4 seed Drew to play #6 seed Yes Chef!.
Good luck, gentlemen! Here’s all three playoff brackets below.
Bounty Brawl
The $20 bounty goes to your commish’ this year! Here’s the season long trajectory.
Jack earns the bounty week 1, scoring least points in the league, who carries it to week 3, where he loses it to Daddy.
Daddy carries it to week 5, where TC takes it off his hands.
TC loses it the very next week to Nick.
Nick holds it to rivalry week, where he loses it to hated rival Curtis.
Curtis holds it to week 11, where TC once again picks it up!
But lo-and-behold, your commish’ claims it in week 12, in the middle of his heater, and as were to win out, earns the $20 bounty all for himself.
Thanks for playing, gents!
X-IA gives it their all in Week 14, but alas, the top IFL division for 2025 is Papa Jord’s!, their fifth year as top dog, breaking their tie with the Cul-de-Sack, officially making them the most dominant division in the league. This is the 3rd time in 4 years they’ve finished as top division, and they take the crown from X-IA, 2024’s top division.
The Commish’ goes 6 for 7 to extend his lead, while Jesse hits 5 for 7 to possibly begin his totally possible epic comeback? Bonus points start this week for the playoffs, so plenty of time to make a move.
