Highest Scoring Team ($15)
Breaking Veg
Coach Zach
141.03 pts
Highest Scoring Player ($7)
Last Ride
Coach Curtis
Derrick Henry - 50.6 pts
IFL Superbowl Weekend has come and gone. Like we did last week, let’s break it down day by day.
Christmas Day, your Commish’ and the reigning 2024 IFL Champ Jord kicked things off, and Jord’s Javonte Williams started off hot with 54 yards and a touchdown mid-way through the second quarter, while the Commish’s CeeDee Lamb was largely MIA. A pit began to form in my stomach, as it looked like an early Cowboys rout of the Commanders and that meant a monster Javonte game as the Cowboys would just pound the ball with him. But Ol’ Saint Nick had his first Christmas miracle to perform, and Javonte would exit the game with an injury in the second quarter. While CeeDee only finished with 9 points, Javonte’s 13 points were a blessing to Breaking Veg. Kris Kringle’s second miracle that fated day would come in the Broncos game, where not only would Jord’s Troy Franklin be an afterthought for Bo Nix against the Chiefs, RJ Harvey would score the final touchdown of the game to clinch it for the Broncos, a dagger, and give the Commish’ a ten point advantage headed into Saturday.
Saturday Ka’imi kicked just 10 points for Jord, which I chalked up as a win, since he’s been good for 16 and 18 the week before. But to be honest, I wasn’t thinking about fantasy football Saturday. I was thinking about pie. That’s right - the 3rd Annual Big Brett Christmas Pie Contest was Saturday, and as Ellen and I are two-time runner ups, we had our sights set a bit higher this year, and well, we delivered!
Our cookie butter pie, bottom middle in the picture, was legendary and came away with the trophy, despite stiff competition from this year’s runner up - a ruffle milk raspberry. While the victory distracted me from the IFL Superbowl for a moment, a troubling thought entered my mind that night… I surely couldn’t win both the Big Brett Christmas Pie Contest and the IFL Superbowl, right? Had I sealed my fate?
Noon Sunday I was locked in, as 5 of my remaining 6 players kicked off along 2 of Jord’s. Since my final player, the Giants DEF played late afternoon Sunday, and Jord had Caleb Williams in SNF and the Rams DEF and Puka Nakua in MNF, I knew if I had any hope, I’d have to build a substantial lead, and outside of Drake Maye, it wasn’t looking good through the first half. And since Jord hedged against Drake Maye with Hunter Henry, his 33 points didn’t feel as good as it should. Nor did the fact that he got benched in the third quarter. Mike Evans, Trey McBride, and Travis Etienne had a combined ~9 points at halftime. The only thing that helped was that Jord’s Tetairoa McMillan had missing posters hanging up all over Charlotte, NC, and he was catchless at half. But, as has often been the case, my team of second half warriors started to come alive. Trey McBride, garbage time GOAT, his team down three touchdowns, talked his coach into breaking the all-time TE reception record for a single season, and not only would he break it and end the game with 10 receptions, he’d catch a late garbage time touchdown to finish with 25 points. Etienne got enough production to end with 13 and Mike Evans would grab his own tuddy at the final hour of the Dolphins game to pick up a duzzy. All this while Tet would secure just a single grab in the Seahawks game, finishing with 1.25 points. And so, despite the slow start, Breaking Veg was up 72 points. Could that be enough? Against Puka? No, that was not enough. But I had one last card to play - the Giants DEF. While they are only the 24th best DEF on the season fantasy-wise, they played the Raiders this week, and if I could get 10, maybe 15 points out of them, then maybe it’d be enough. A kick return for a touchdown; however, I didn’t count on, and they would finish as the top defense of the week, with 25 points. Alas, with all my ammo spent, I was up 96 points. Okay, that was definitely enough… wasn’t it? I went back and look at Jord’s remaining players, and their best performances this year. Caleb - 39.2 points, Puka 46.0 points, Rams DEF - 20.57 points. It wasn’t enough.
And as SNF kicked off, and the Niners and Bears raced to a 14-14 start in the first quarter, I thought, “my god, it’s happening.” But despite the five touchdowns the Bears would score, two were poached by Deandre Swift, and one from the Bears DEF, which meant that Caleb would finish with just 24 points. Not enough. And finally, up 72 points, with just Puka and the Rams defense left, I began to let myself feel a little bit of hope.
Before MNF, Big Brett gave us this absolute beauty:
And that pretty much sums it up. The Rams, like Jord, would choke, and Puka would finish with just 15 points, and the final tally would be Breaking Veg 141, Yes Chef! 95. Your commissioner is now a two-time IFL Champion, joining the likes of TC and the Doc, and winning it all for the first time since 2015 in Superbowl II. As good as that feels, it feels better to deny Jord from the repeat. To win back-to-back, and on pick 18 of all things, would be an embarrassment to the league, and I feel honored to do my part to stop it from happening. Though it shouldn’t have ever gotten this close. Breaking Veg finish as the highest scoring team in the league this week, the 5th highest scoring team on the season, the highest scoring team weeks 6-17, and outscored the next highest team by 17 PPG over the last 7 weeks. Drake Maye finishes as QB2 on the season, Trey McBride as TE1 (outscoring TE2 by 109 points), and Travis Etienne as RB10. After a disappointing 2-7 start, only to win 5 in a row to just sneak into the playoffs, and to finish on an 8-game winstreak to win it all is legendary. Hats off to my boys.
While the Superbowl went on, and unlike the Superbowl, our other two games of import were nailbiters.
For third place, Qualley and Hunt slugged it out, sluggishly, and Qualley led Hunt by 10 with Hunt having the only remaining player left, Jauan “Jauana Man” Jennings playing in SNF, and he would Jauana Man his way to a clutch victory for Hunt, winning 91-90, and grabbing our regular season champ third place. While third is disappointing for the record setting Groovers, who started the season 10-0, always good to end the season on a high note, and hey, $10 is $10. Qualley, who failed to make his third consecutive Superbowl, will look to make his fourth consecutive playoffs again next year.
The battle for best draft odds of 2026, our Consolation Championship was even more dramatic, as Curtis’ Last Ride would have an epic sendoff weekend, their King Henry scored four touchdowns, ran for 216 yards, and posted FIFTY points on Austin Saturday night, earning him $7 for the week, and propelling him to a 128-77 lead. Austin, had Bijan Robinson and Cody Parkinson left headed into MNF, and down 51 points, needed a Bijan heater to have any hope. And boy, did he get just that. 229 all-purpose yards, and two touchdowns gave him FORTY and a duzzy from Cody Parkinson was just the number he needed to win the Consolation ‘Ship 129-128. Austin repeats as Consolation Champ, winning it last year as well, making him the second-ever Consolation Champ to repeat. He had best draft odds for 2025, and he’ll get best draft odds again for 2026. Curtis, will end his season, and possibly his career, on a loss, but with a career record 101-90, one of only three coaches with 100 wins. He has had two Cul-de-Sack division titles, two wildcard bids, is the 2022 IFL Superbowl IX Champion, and most importantly, is the 4-time overall and 3-Peat Pick ‘Em Champ. He’s had an absolutely legendary career, and if this really is the end, salute to you, my friend. Legend. The Cul-de-Sack won’t be the same without you.
And that’s a wrap on 2025! Thanks for playing the most difficult yet best fantasy football league in the world and see you next year.
Daddy goes for broke, but the Commish’ clutches his second consecutive Pick ‘Em Championship, beating his percentage correct the previous year at by 2%. This year’s consensus picks were down from 61% to 54%. Shoutout to Austin for slipping into second with just 38% accuracy on the year, taking full advantage of the playoff bonus points.
