Highest Scoring Team ($15)
Des Moines Football Team
Coach Qualley
174.38 pts
Highest Scoring Player ($7)
The IFL Boogeyman
Coach TC
Vikings DEF - 37.58 pts
Well our Game of the Week turned out to be a turtle and the slightly faster turtle kind of race, as Jesse and Jord were locked up 72-62, in Jord’s favor, headed into MNF, but Meet MY Kids star RB Jahmyr Gibbs did laps around Yes Chef’s Jameson Williams, leading Jesse to a 88-79 victory and his second-ever 3-0 start, last time coming in 2019, when he started the season 8-0. He has just an 28-23 all-play record, benefitting so far from the second easiest schedule in the league thus far, but, hey, it’s not about how you win, am I right? Jord posts the worst total in the league this week, falling to 1-2, and currently sits with the lowest all-play record in the league at 14-37. YIKES. Time to hit the panic button if you’re one of the many underpaid line cooks in that kitchen.
At the other end of the spectrum, the all-play leader at 41-10, Hunt’s Groovers have quietly dismantled 3 consecutive, this week taking down the previous standings leader, Nick 132-82, and grooves on to 3-0. This is also Hunt’s second 3-0 start to a season, his first time coming in 2022, a season in which in didn’t even make the playoffs. The Groovers have quietly built each performance this season, and that’s a scary trend if it continues: 104 —> 120 —> 132.
Nick is surpassed in standings by the only other 2-1 Cul-de-Sack team, Chris, as Can’t Bench These Vibes dispatch with Scallon’s Pineview Knights 124-111, behind the league’s WR1, Puka Nacua. Chris has the third best all-play record in the league at 33-18 and tied for second best PPG with Hunt at 119. Scallon falls to 1-2.
Our new PPG leader, naturally, is the latest hot hand, Qualley, who gave his 0-2 team a real fire branding heading into this weekend’s games, and it showed, his lowest scoring player, JK Dobbins had 15.8 points, and 6 of his players had 20+, completely EMBARRASSING the goon squad, ALL-TIME D and their goon captain Brady with 174 points, an IFL high for any team this season, besting the previous high by 19 points. Brady’s team had rallied hard the previous weekend for their Superbowl matchup with the commish’ and that was obvious this week, as they came back down to their comfort zone, a measly 82 points.
I’d be remiss if I didn’t point out my favorite team, Austin’s BiJanShulShonRobnSonSonSo and their league winner Bijan also climbed to 3-0, easily besting Drew’s truly horrible team 116-83. This is Austin’s first ever 3-0 start and at a 33-18 all-play record, it’s no fluke either. And this win was without his QB phenom Jayden Daniels, who may be iffy for Week 4.
Of our two IFL retirement returnees, Daddy was the first to get a win, beating the two-time champ Jack 104-97, despite his first round draft pick CeeDee Lamb getting hurt early in the Bears game and posting a gooseegg. Daddy gets his first IFL win since his exodus in 2019. Congrats, my guy! Of course, it’s a bit bittersweet, as CeeDee’s injury is in flux, possibly forcing him to miss a couple games, but on the other hand, his rookie stud Omarion Hampton just became the Chargers workhorse RB with Najee’s season ending injury. The Doc falls to 1-2, but history tells us not worry about him.
For our other returnee, Joe, he was not so lucky, as his battle with his brother ended fittingly, with big bro on top 114-112. Joe and Last Seen at Brady’s fall to 0-3, the only team with such a distinction, but unlike Jord’s team, it really isn’t time to hit the panic button whatsoever. He sits at 29-22 in all-play, which is 5th best in the league, and has the lowest standard deviation in the league of the top 8 scoring teams. He just made a winning trade for Etienne and Bowers and has been without his QB1 Brock Purdy for two weeks. I’d much rather be Last Seen at Brady’s than Yes Chef!, that’s for sure. Breaking Veg narrowly escapes the 0-3 start, and joins the endless ranks of 1-2 teams.
A much better week for the Cul-de-Sack brings the race real tight, as Papa Jord’s slips into to first, by just a single game.
Chris goes 3 for 4, climbing into a tie with Jord at the top of the heap.
